Yesterday was a difficult day, but a rewarding day because I got to help my family. Everyone's been saying how helpful I am and I'm very glad I can help. I did laundry yesterday, helped make sandwiches, made sure all the visitors had something to drink, did dishes, etc. I feel this is where I'm meant to truly be right now. My Auntie Ana and I have been getting lost in conversation, laughing about this and that, sharing moments and memories. It's great. At school, Teach asked me about grandpa and I told her that he'd passed. She was sad but reassured me he was in a good place now, free from pain. She also asked me why I was in class. I told her it was to make my grandpa proud. I'll take time off if I absolutely need to. I tried to do some finger sticks but failed miserably. I also got my black dress from Fina who gave her condolences. What made my night was watching her daughter dancing with her cute new little puppy, it was adorable!

When I got home, I was feeling rather bad, kind of stressed, annoyed with things but I did my best to rage it out on Twitter LOL and let it go. By the time I went to bed, I felt much much better.

This morning, I woke up early cos an ex called to see how my grandpa was. It's hard telling the news cos I start getting misty eyed but remind myself he's in Heaven. Auntie Ana imagines he's telling jokes to God. :) Since I was up early, I impulsively dyed my hair black. My grandpa didn't like my coloured hair, he always told me to keep it black and long like my mother used to have it. So this is for Grandpa.

I rushed out the door for my typing test, got there with 10 minutes to spare. I find I like that area of Montebello, very old fashioned looking. I had to rush into the office when I finally found the entrance to the school district and we were lead into a room with computers and given our test. We needed 40 words per minute to pass to the interview portion. Guess what? I got 41 wpm, PASSED! I was way excited!

Going on the way back to Grandma's I realized I didn't put in my plugs for my ears, and my ears are weird and shrink back right away. So I went to the Montebello mall to see if they were open. While I was in the parking lot, I started to cry cos I was reminded of all the times I came with my grandparents there. I went in as everything was opening, got 3 kitty notebooks, a pen, and two patches at Hot Topic, it was 50% off clearance sale day! I looked for a black dress for my mom at Torrid but they're too dressy. At Spencer's, I was joking around with the guy that worked there, he was pretty cool. It was Buy Two, Get One Free peircing deal there, so I got two sets of checkered plugs, one set of spiral irridescent plugs (purple leading into green, my Auntie Ana liked those best!) and a 5 pack of nose piercings. Sweet! And I won $2 on a lotto scratcher. My grandpa is the one who liked to do lotto scratchers, BTW, that's were I get it from. :)

I got to Grandma's and my Aunt was teasing that my grandma and mom left her! We talked and talked until they came home. Then mom asked me to iron Grandpa's robe cos they were going to give the clothes to the funeral home. My grandma started to take out the ironing board but she was crying and crying, I had to take it from her. I was honoured I got to iron his robe. I'm helping make Grandpa look good. :) For those who wonder, my Grandpa was VERY involved with his parish, San Fransisco Church in East LA. Whenever we'd go to church, he'd collect the money. Then they made him a Eucharistic minister, and they wear white robes and a medallion at his church. So that's what he wanted to be buried in. The church has been very kind to us, saying that they cleared their whole calendar to be open any days we need them to be to help Grandma. Also, when my brother and I were younger and used to go to functions at the church, we were treated very kind cos my grandfather was so well liked and active.

After giving the clothes to the funeral director (which my mom put in a KFC bag >.< and I held on to for the last time), we went back home. My grandma found my grandpa's wallet and she opened it and said, "You left me with $46...come back and give me more...no, I don't want anymore money, I want you back..." It was sad but so touching, I know she misses grandpa so much. I went shopping down Whittier Blvd. for my Aunt and stopped by a liqour store my grandpa used to take us to often when us grandchildren where younger. He'd buy us whatever candy we wanted, he'd buy a scratcher, and I always got my fingers caught on the sliding glass door. >.< The lady working there accused me of stealing, so I left. Grrr...then went to the market down the street. I haven't been shopping down Whitteir Blvd. in forever, I love it there! I got some Marilyn Manson contacts there today!!!! Only $38, regular $99!!! =D I'm going to go to Matt's house sometime soon and wear them while he has his black light on! :p Oh, he got me a stuffed penguin from Sea World! I named him Mr. Sludgy!

After long talks about plans, arrangements, what days and hours to have what we needed, I made sandwiches for everyone and Uncle Manuel called me a domestic goddess. LOL I told my family I passed my test and joked around that I did it by typing with my thumbs only like a texter heheh! Grandma gave me money to buy her some more Chanel No. 5 perfume, I'm glad she trusts me with these things. Auntie Ana kept calling me her daughter all day, hehe! We took pictures of ourselves and the bunny that visits the neighborhood! My cousin Sabrina and I are in charge of pictures, and I'm in charge of snacks for the viewing. The thought of me living there for a while came up, which I would not have any problem with except for no internet access to be honest. If I can procure a laptop with internet access, I'll be fine and just live part time over there, no problem. I love my grandma and want to be there for her.

So much more to do still, but things are getting done very fast, very efficiently. I'm going to send Saul a letter out tonight so he knows everything that's going on, he only met my grandfather once but he is, in my eyes, part of the family or is going to be so he should know what's going on. I'll have all the info for the services if any of you who knew my grandfather would like to come and pay your respects, if you cannot, I understand. This is a trying time for all of us, and we're all just trying to help out as much as we can. I know grandpa is looking at us saying, "Why are you doing all this for me? Go home!" :) No, Grandpa, not yet, we got you covered. <3

Random pics from my grandma's house:

my Auntie Ana's bag, Stinker Bell :p Complete with dread locks, doc martins, piercings and tattoos!



My grandma's little jeans to hold her clothes pins. This is where I got the idea long time ago to make jean purses



line drying, so old school, so awesomely oldschool



proof I do manual labor! LOL



electric sock parade :p



part of the jungle that is my grandpa's yard. Auntie Ana says the man could cut his finger and grow a human being. He had a knack for gardening



the chairs belong to the back house, my cousin Angie lives back there



I forgot who's feet prints these are but when I was little, I used to try to see if my little feet could fill these in some day, my grandpa would smile seeing me try



the driveway leading to the outside, seems really long here



Grandpa gave this to Grandma on their first wedding anniversary



This dish towel has been in their house longer than I've been alive!



the front yard, more of my grandpa's greenery



I got lost going from the typing test to the mall and ran into St. Benidict's church. This is the front of it, very stunning



outside a Japanese restaurant in the Montebello Mall



This is the robe my grandfather will be put to rest in



King of Pop stickers, $5! And crazy eye contacts, I got the ones called Manson :p



My Uncle Michael drew this on a piece of paper



Visitor Bunny! Visiting our yard!



close up of Visitor Bunny!



from Left to Right: Grandma, Mom, and my Auntie Ana



Grandma, Mom and moi

Another day tomorrow to plan. I'm staying the night over tomorrow night. I told Matt I'd stalk him when I come back LOL I pray I can take care of my grandmother and that we'll all get through this tragedy stronger than before. I found a hankeirchief my grandfather gave me years and years ago, he always had a hankeirchief with him. He gave me one of a grey cat wearing a dress chasing a butterfly while riding a scooter. It's totally cute. I'm going to keep it with me for the meantime. I'm so fortunate my grandfather is so generous. Grandpa, I hope you are proud of us. I love you. <3

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He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you." ---one of the prayers on the cards that will be passed out for my Grandfather's service