I feel like writing, even though I have nothing to write about, really. :P Well, I guess I do have something to write about: I have absolutely no idea what my direction in life is. The even sadder part: I'm very comfortable with that. I guess even when you don't want to do something, it's the end out in the horizon that makes it all worth it, you know? *sigh* The only reason I'm pushing myself so hard right now is because of the fact that I know that there's going to be something to end it in the future. I don't mean it in a morbid way, I mean it in a something will come along and change way. I've been thinking about crying about it, but then I just feel weak and emotionally drained about it. So what's the point? I hope I'm not beyond the point of tears for anything anymore.
I drank a lot of soda and punch on the weekend. I'm still paying for it today. I feel really fat. Just in my face and my tummy, though. Vidal says I look hot, but love is blind. (I mean, come on!!!) I've got to stop eating Top Ramen. (Why do they call it soup? I'm always thinking, "Yeah, I guess it *could* be soup if you don't let the water evaporate, but I always do...it's noodles right? Not soup...) Uh, the complexities of life. I'm amused by little things but I'm also plagued with the most questions by the little things. I really want some macoroni and cheese right now.
When I drove to Tonzy's house the other day, he saw how I parked the car on his street and said, "You did a pretty good parking job" and I said, "Yeah, I'm parked right in the middle of the f*cking street" and he said, "Just take the f*cking compliment!" It's so true what he says. I love talking to him. He knows me, I mean really knows me. Oh, and he dropped by my house last night before he went to work. Good times. He let me copy two songs off the "Lest We Forget" album from Marilyn Manson. (Personal Jesus (the real version; the one I downloaded was some other funky version, still from MM but really toned down) and The Long Hard Road Out of Hell) He's bummed because he knows that Mela will probably become a nun, but he does support her in this choice, which is really mature and big of him.
I've been worried about my friend Geraldo. ;_; He worries me.
I think I'm comming down with the flu. I had a really bad migrain last night and I've been having body aches like crazy. Plus I've been puking a lot. Grr. Little Bro says I'm pregnant, I said, "Yeah, by one of my cats" uh, my little brother is a jerk sometimes.
Know anyone who wants to buy some Altovis off of me? :p
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We spend a lifetime building up our defenses only to have that be the one thing that destroys us