So some drama happened again with me and Tako and I kept fucking up at work on Sat. because of it. I was supposed to go to my cousin's party, but fuck. So I drove down there and talked to him, cried about it to him, we're still where we've always been, it just fucking sucks that everytime he tries to push me away he hurts me and it makes no sense to me why he does this. It hurt me to look at him because when he gets frustrated and upset, it's a change from the easy going, laid-back guy I've known. It scares me. Makes me think. Makes me more afraid to get into a relationship, not that I'm ready right now in the first place. Anyways, we were cool after our convo and we went out to eat, then to get some throat spray and chocolate, I was fiending chocolate bad yesterday.

We went on this mountainous road path last night pretty late and he showed me where he used to race and the places he's crashed. Also showed me this really cool looking mountanous town where the houses where so freakin' pretty and so nice. I was scared as he turned curves all fast and shit, but I know I'm safe driving with him. He took me to this lookout point where the city looked really pretty and he said he was glad he could share this with me. We went back down, got some gas and I got a sprite for my tummy LOL we made it a goal to find some liqour but all we got was a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice because no place had any hard liqour. We found a hotel to spend the night in and drank. Fun shit.

We ate at this place that he used to work, it was a diner called Peggy Sue's but they changed it to a mexican resteraunt. It was delish. We went back to his house and slept for a long time, I had a TRIPPY ass dream they turned my room into a walmart and stuff, it was weird, and that Sharon Osbourne was hitting my car with a bat n stuff. LOL We watched TV for a little bit then he walked me to my car and I left. For some reason, I felt something lacking as I left. I felt detached from him. *sigh* I love him so much. Just so many things seem to be telling me to think about this long and hard. But I want to be with him. Just something changed this time I saw him...something made me feel empty...I don't know...*sigh* A lot has happened in the 3 months I've known him, I had no idea it'd come to this. I'm glad I've gotten as close to him as I have but these fights...they dig at me. So many things are going through my head right now, I don't know what to do. Guess I'll talk to him later.

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If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone