I was prepared for this week to be difficult with Thanksgiving and Black Friday and all. Plus on Tuesday there was all sorts of drama with my bro being a little delinquient and I had to distance myself from someone I care very much about....sucks...bigtime...but the sarg was there for me to talk some sense into my hectic little brain and took me away from the house. He's awesome.

Thanksgiving was alright, save from the fact that I was a bit meloncholy and I was absolutely sicker than a dog. (I had eaten dairy the night before :( bah) I came home after work and I wore a dress that actually had colour in it for the benifit of my mom. My Nana (dad's mom) came over, too. :p Mom was having a fit about the dinner being perfect and stuff, I was scared she was going to cry. Dinner was great, I wish I could have helped make something.

Black Friday comes, Tak and I decided to car pool since we both had to get to the store by 4:30am. He had twisted his ankle really bad so he had to move slowly. When we got at the store, people were there waiting for 5am so they can take their bargins. It was like last year: big hype, big preperation, little turn-out, we were all BORED! THANKSGIVING WAS WORSE THAN BLACK FRIDAY!!!! But at least I got holiday pay. :p

After sleeping for a long time, Tak, Dave and I went to Eddie's Black Friday party. I met two new tech nerds and talked to everyone about A-LA (cuz I'm going this year) and stuff. :) Found the joy of cherry vodka and limenade. :p We didn't go home until 4:30am. I was supposed to go to work but I called off both my jobs. I had a big ol' panic attack that set the rest of the day off at a terrific pace. (::rolls eyes::) I had such a weird feeling yesterday, and I know what it is, it's the big depression I always get this time of year added to the fact that last year's dilema comes to haunt me. I feel like I'm failing big-time and that I'm not doing enough but at the same time I don't have a strangle-hold on the stuff I AM doing. And I miss someone a lot but I have to let it go.

(On the plus side, I beat Guitar Hero on Easy mode, which was STILL hard for me!!!! Next: Medium)

I really miss having someone around that I care about that I can absolutely trust. I had somoene before like that but I fucked up. Plus back them I couldn't be trusted. I don't ever think I'll find someone like that again which makes me really not adventurous about meeting someone new or dating . I can't seem to trust anyone anymore, they either let me down or are lying from the start. I made great strides to tell the truth now no matter what and be open and honest about everything no matter what. It's made me go far with old and new relationships with people alike. I just hope that one day I can find someone to share trust in. I'm happy with the very few peope who've always been there for me no matter and who've shared trust with me. <3

I've writtten too much. Now go eat left-over turkey. :p

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it's a didgeridoo made out of koalas!