I saw him as if I hadn't seen him in a long time. I didn't expect to see him, don't know why though. I got home and tore his picture into teeny little peices until there was nothing left but confetti.

Was it him? Was it me? Was it us? Who knows...

I felt good around him, he made me smile, despite the red flags and shocking revelations, I really wanted to trust him. I wanted to feel good about him. There was something about him that I was attracted to, that I still am attracted to. We didn't go out very long, but I fell for him, but kept my heart at a distance at the same time. I didn't want to feel too much for him because I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want to get hurt.

But I got hurt anyway.

And now I have to deal with this...this...*thing* left behind. How am I going to do this? One day at a time, of course. I just wish that I didn't have to see him anymore. I don't want to come in contact with him. I want to get over him, to forget him. I want this thing to go away. Whatever I had for him, I can't have anymore. I tried, I really did, but...I suppose maybe I wanted too much? No, what I was asking was do-able and not unreasonable. *sigh*...IDK.............

fuck.

Fuck him.

I have that little shard of hate in me again. And I never wanted it to come back.

Ever.

But I'll get over it. He isn't worth my hate. Or time. Or as much love as I gave him, though none of that I can get back.

I just want to be done with it.