Easter Tidings to all! Even if they are late. :) It was a good day, though I did think too much as I always do. *sigh*

Woke up early to get ready for Easter mass. I was excited to wear the new white dress I bought from Amelinda but when I tried it on I had clothes on over it so I didn't realize how...revealing the chest area was! I had to wear a camisole under it! I was pleasantly conservative and Easter appropriate! Mass was great, I got to see Tonzy and celebrate our Risen Lord!

conservative Easter



without accessories, WITH the camisole!



there's a lot going on in this pic

Afterward, mom tagged along with me to see Saul. He liked my dress. teehee! It was a good visit though I feel I burdened him with problems not of his own but entirely mine and I don't want to tell him some things some times but he wants to know and I don't like hiding things from him but it's unfair for him to feel my woes when they're not of him. I told him how I broke down, why I broke down. He's still waiting for the bus to take him up to prison and he was worried about his dad. Saul told me, "This is really wearing on you, isn't it?" I told him yes but it's making me stronger and it is the truth, it is. I had him a little worried when i said I felt like I'd taken many steps forward but a lot of steps back, but they were solely in my emotional state, not in anything I'd done. I love Saul very much and am awaiting the day I get to see him again, touch him again, and bring him home again.

Going and coming to San Bernardino was traffic cos of accidents. Before we left I grabbed a Red Bull and a new lighter from a really neat gas station covenience store off the onramp to the freeway. We went to my dad's side of the family's friend's house to celebrate Easter with the kids and grown-ups. I got a confetti egg cracked on my head! And ate good food. From there, the concert! (after I changed into my aviator jacket and docs :p Wearing boots with a white dress is fun!)

I went out of line twice to get something I left behind in my car and the line was HUGE for this show! The Glass House is in an artsy area of Pomona and there were some really neat shops I'd like to see when they're open. I brought my camera but it didn't do me too well; I was too far away from the stage and I accidentally erased all the pictures from the show >.< Got a text from Mr. K informing me of the Abney Park interview on G4 that had me on film for a few seconds! yay! I'm world famous, first on Carson Daly, now this! lol Watch it, it's a good interview:

I got some texts and my brain went of overdrive. I felt completely lost in myself, of who I was and what things meant. Like if people liked me the way I was, what was the point of changing? Why do I try so hard when my efforts are lost, unnoticed or taken for granted? Why have I only had two relationships that didn't overlap into others? This went on to resolutions such as me not trying so hard to be with people who seem to care less if I'm in their life or not and that missing someone is not going to get me anywhere (good), make things better, change any choices I made, the way things are, or really anything for that matter. I need to stay away from certain people lest I get caught in a moment and things are fine for too little a time for them to matter, and in a sick way of seeming calm when it's just a false sense of security I deem upon them. No more.

After all that racket in my head, the first band, Happy Hollows, came on. They were great! The lady singer really rocked and wailed on that guitar, such a mix!!! I was applauding and cheering for them, new music is excellent. I ran into Chuck, a friend of Mayra's and Arlene's, who I thought was my friend Marcos. We met up with Arlene and Tako outside, talked and shared a smoke. Cloves, ah! Wonderful, I can smoke again! We laughed and shared stories and talked about things, it was a great time. We came inside once the Silversun Pickups started doing their tests and checks. It was a blast! They were just phenomenal on stage, I'd been waiting to see them for 3 years! It was kind of a full-circle moment because when I got into them, I was going to school and dating Tako and since then SSPU always reminded me of him and there we were three years later and we're all still connected somehow. :) They played my favourite song, Rusted Wheel, and totally rocked the heck out of Kissing Families (there was resolve in me singing/screaming along to "And now I know just where I stand, thank God your heart is still closed...THANK GOD IT'S OVER!"), Little Lovers So Polite, and Lazy Eye. They did two songs for the encore, I jumped up and down and danced! Tako was cutting quite a rug!

Afterward, we parted ways us all having something to do in the morning.
Upcoming shows I'll be attending at the Glass House: Opeth on May 15th $25; She Wants Revenge on June 11th $20.

I got up at 5:45am for jury duty.

the vest makes it "business casual" :p

I got there on time despite getting lost like I always do. I started writing a letter to Saul right away when they said for those who needed postponements to come forward. I would have stayed this week but yesterday my mom told me that she had an important doctor appointment concerning an abnormality in her mammogram, that she was worried but not too worried but would like it if I were there. I want to be there of course. Coming into the parking garage, I misplaced my car for 10 minutes >.<, and decided to come home instead of going to Little Tokyo cos I'd rather go with friends. Came into town, got some spray paint for my dad at Walmart from an employee who knows me.
Walmart Guy: "I don't think we should sell you paint. You don't look 18"
Me: "Come on, I'm 16!"
Walmart Guy: "Ah, you're buying paint to inhale the fumes in a brown bag! Old school!"
Me: "What? No, that's stupid! I use air freshener!"
(Laughs)
Ah, Walmart.

Visited mom, went to the market, got breakfast and spilled syrup all over my pants and my seat! I'm spaz-tastic. I bought a new ciggy holder that's ugly but I needed a new one; somehow my old one cracked considerably on the mouth piece. Came home, got dad to get a hair cut. His hair was long, for him, I kept telling him, "Cut your hair, hippie!" It took a long time and I slept in the car. Swear, under that poof of hair was an explosion of gray hairs! :p Went to the mall so I could get a new bra from Victoria's Secret, in white. I got a coupon for trying it on, yay! The girl who rang me up was shockingly pretty, she wasn't wearing that much make-up at all and I couldn't get over how insanely beautiful she was, glowing and pleasant. After getting lottery tickets, we sat at Jamba Juice and talked. I brought up marriage and kids with Saul to my dad, he just wants me to make sure I wait and plan everything out, he doesn't want me to rush into things unprepared or have Saul not steady with a job and such. My dad's pleased we have a plan but I think not ready to talk about it too much cos he feels we're not ready yet. And in all reality, we're not, but when the time comes, I know we will be, but it will take that: time.

I was very tired but made dinner and everything. It was a good dinner. Now I'm about to go out with my mom, Mike might visit later. Squee wants to go to the movies tomorrow, I don't really want to go but eh, it's been a while since I've seen him, maybe I'm just tired and I'll feel better tomorrow. Oi, tomorrow, I hope nothing's wrong with my mom.

Happy Easter once again and hope you all have a wonderful season!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So you can�t hold a star in your hand though
at least you can hold on to another plan

rusted wheel planted still

i can tell it's summer from the
size of the bugs that fly through my window
flying through my window

rusted wheel planted still
rusted wheel can't move on

i can tell it's winter from the
size of the lump in my throat
got a lump in my throat

rusted wheel planted still
rusted wheel can't move on

and it feels just like the ground
but trapped in another way
just still in the ground

and it feels just like the ground
and trapped in another way
just still in the ground

so you can't hold a star in your hand though
at least you can move on to that better plan

rusted wheel planted still
rusted wheel can't move on...