Where do I begin? I'm not going to complain about the 4 hour sleep I got cos I was my fault for partying so late the night before. The problem was that my medicine was making me drowsier than normal, I was dehydrated and sick all day. Nevertheless, I made lunch and dinner to take to my Nana's and packed up my clothes to stay over my grandma's. My dad and Nana ended up going with me to my grandma's to visit my grandpa.

When I got to my grandpa's, all my family was there and everything was business. My cousin Sabrina and I got food and I got a call from Le Tigre which was nice, I wish I could have talked more but I had a lot going on. Grandpa already had his hospital bed set up in the living room so everyone can talk to him though he was pretty out of it cos of the morphine. He didn't eat too much either. We all worked out a schedual of who's coming over to stay which day and night, his doc appointments, when to take all 10 (!) of his medications, when the day nurse was going to come, etc. I couldn't believe how fast things were happening and I was a bit overwhelmed at everything but I knew I was needed and I wanted to help anyway I can.

When everyone left, I helped my grandma with the dinner and dishes and such. Grandma asked me how long my Pop (Dad's dad) lived after he was diagnosed with cancer. I told her not long because he kind of let himself pass on. She said, "So if Manuel (grandpa) fights it, you think he'll be okay?" and I said, "Of course he'll be okay. He's a fighter!" My grandma worries about him, rightfully so, they've been together for 53 years come this July. Before grandpa went to sleep, he told me, "Goodnight, mija, remember that I love you very much." and I told him I loved him to. I guess we needed that moment. After watching some cable, grandma fell asleep on the couch next to my grandpa wearing a dress just in case. I passed out but then woke up in the middle of the night not being able to sleep.

I woke up early in the morning to tend to my grandpa. I made breakfast, did the dishes, made sure grandpa was comfortable, helped out grandma here and there. His pain was more manageable, he seemed better and ate more. This was good. :) It was so busy; a lot of family members (most who haven't seen me in years) came by to visit, word gets around quickly. Grandpa's priest even came to visit him! That's awesome! My cousin Moudo came with a BIG box of strawberries and bananas! My grandma taught me how to make bodega soup, something my mom has tried for years to make unsuccessfully. It's simple and it's really good! I told my dad about it and he's excited for me to make it this week at home, he hasn't had it in years.

After my Uncle Manuel and mom came, I left for school in bad traffic. Got a Jamba Juice, went home for a bit, got the mail (and a letter from my love! <3 He finally got a letter I sent to him weeks ago) and off to school. I told Teach about my grandpa's situation and she said she understood if I needed time off from school but I told her my grandpa would kill me if I did, so she said she'd pray for him. School was cool, learning about pharmacology math. On the way home I called Mike cos he would know about older people with cancer, he gave me some good news medically pertaining to it so it's eased my mind a bit. Grandpa's got an oncology appointment tomorrow, we need to determine what we're dealing with here. I feel I needed to talk to someone who could relate. I still feel I do but I'll stay to myself for a bit, though I do know there are more people who will lend an ear. Now I'm at home, relaxing a bit, trying to worry about small stuff instead of the big things.

So...my dad's on the permanently disabled list now. There's no way to treat his back without back surgery and he doesn't want to go through that. Understandably so! O.O Teach said that's not a bad thing cos now he can collect money instead of over exerting himself further. It's true but what the hell is he going to do with himself? Dad said he sees it as a new life for himself. I'm glad he does. I know he's bummed though cos he can't move like he used to but we've been getting along a lot better since so he's right. AX is in 9 days! Yay, adventure! AHH! Not done with cosplay! Amanda Palmer concert with Mr. K on Thursday. Tomorrow, kick back, who knows what the day will bring? I need to study study study like I did last week, it helped a lot. Need to sew sew sew as well. Friday, Miss Luminous' B-day and Repo! Shadowcast! Wow, I'm going to be busy! Ah, life, it's really awesome, and I'm very blessed and greatful for everything in it, even during the times that are unpredictable.

And also, THANK YOU very much to all those who are praying for my grandfather, it mean so very much to me and him that you do! Thank you! Take care of yourselves, all of you, and I'll see where this journey takes us.

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it's times like these we learn to live again