one of my bro's girlfriend's broke up with him so he decided it would be a great idea to tell everyone that he wanted to kill himself. He supposedly took 6 Xanex (I say this because I dunno if he said this for attention or not cuz he's fucked up like that) and when my mom tried to take him to the hospital he had a fucking fit and I told her to call 911 cuz they'd need to give him activated charcoal to get the Xanex out of his system but then he ran out the fucking front door when my mom went to get the phone. So my mom tried to find him, he dissapeared, she's freaking out, I'm trying to be there but the sad truth is that my bro has found another way to make everything about him, he doens't care about anyone else and he only left so we can worry about him and be relieved (not mad) when he comes back.

BUUUULLLLLSSSHHHIIIITTTTT

*sigh* swear....he's killing us, he's driving a wedge between us all. He's such a spoiled selfish little boy. Nothing affects him and everything's about him and him only. Don't get me wrong, I love my bro, but I really have come to detest the horrible person he's become. I blame a lot of things on this, mainly our fucked-up encounters for the first 9=12 years of our lives in that horrible babysitter's house were shit happened there that was abuse on all fronts in all ways. He deals with things inwardly. I also blame it on his bipolar disorder and the fact that he's just spoiled in general. Everyone keeps telling him he's going down my uncle's path because everything my bro is doing Jer is doing. I hope my bro gets out of this like my uncle did but I hope he doesn't waste 30 years of his life to get there. But most of all, I blame this on Jer himself because he chose to disrespect and break my mother's heart by doing drugs of all kinds and bringing in strange people to the house to do their dirty work and steal and do stupid shit. It's so angering. It really is.

Before this, my bro was talking about job corps. Hopefully he will do that.

I'm still looking for a place.

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the boy that you loved is the monster you fear