OK, I seriously was going to church yesterday, but...Vidal slept over again Saturday to Sunday night. Maggot and Richie came over, drunk as hell, wanting us to get drunk, too. Little Bro left with him. I went to sleep, I woke up at 4:30 am and Vidal was missing, too. I was so pissed off. Turns out he went with Maggot, too. When he came back it was, like, 8:30 in the morning. He drank (again, another broken promise) and he got socked in the face by some guy over there. He slept all day until 3:28 pm and he wanted me to take him home to get some clothes. I asked mom if I could take the van over there, she said yeah, so long as it was quick. I went to his house, he wanted to take a shower, even though he could have done that at my house. He said it'd be really quick, quick turned into 20 min. plus his mom came home and yelled at him for different things. So now it's 4:45 pm and I needed to be at the house at 4:35. I go home and Little Bro is there and says that mom and dad left for church already. So now dad knows I borrowed the van (and he doesn't want me driving it right now) and I started freaking out and cried. When mom and dad came back, dad yelled at Little Bro, me and mom. I asked Vidal to leave but mom said he didn't have to (mom, sometimes you need to listen to me) so for the remainder of the night there was this spooky wierd aura in the air. F*ck. *sigh* I'm so f*cking pissed at Vidal for another reason; I could have gone to church and then to the fair with Mela, Tonzy, Lizzie, and JAIME C.!!!!!! I missed out on yet another thing because of my boyfriend. This isn't the first time that he's kept me from something like this. I feel like I can't be myself around him. I hate trying to supress who I am to make someone else happy. I've already done that for four years, it's time that I learned how to make myself heard. At this point, I am at the brink of calling it quits with him. This whole relationship has been sketchy since the begining. I don't know what to say or do, but I'll try to be strong and change the things that I can. *sigh* I honestly don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
*grrr* Talked to Tonzy about it. I love his advice because it's things that totally make sense. I love him so. :) He knows me so well.
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I fantasize about my death, I'll kill myself from holding my breath