Yesterday was my day off. I...

Woke up at 7:30 am, posted that epic blog about summer nostalgia, followed my mom to gas up and return her rental car, we went to get my new contacts and order my new glasses, then to the market, we came home, put away the groceries, I showered and tried out a new pin-up look for my hair/make-up/outfit, picked up Le Tigre who dug my new look, we went to the Montebello mall to go to the HQ store to get new silencers for his dog tag, went to Hot Topic to get a gift for his niece, ate at Chilli's, came home, watched Rounders, fell asleep at 1.

Whew!!!

(ohhh, and I got unlimited texting now! LET THE MADNESS CONSUME YOU!!!!)

This morning I was late to work because I was procrastinating at home and I have a lot of upkeep with this new hairstyle of mine, plus I wanted to look nice today. I came to work and they asked me to come in 2 hours early tomorrow morning because they were having a visitor come to the store. I said sure, extra pay por mi! Denise said, "Wear your nicest uniform and newest badge," and I responded, "Right, dye my hair red and wear all my piercings. Got it!" :p

I waited all morning to talk to Pepsi Vendor Albert, he saw me from a distance and we smiled. Then when we finally talked, about this and that, what we did on the weekend, he left right away. :( I was full-heartedly bent on asking him if he'd like to hang out sometime and exchange numbers but booerns, oh well. He said he was gonna be in the store tomorrow, too, even though it's his day off because of the visitor. heheh *rubs hands together*

Today was BOOOOORING. Like usual. Fucking boring. But I got to see Amelindy and Steve today. And out of nowhere Mike talked to me a lil bit, he said I looked different. Dunno if he meant in a good or bad way but meh, I'm trying to look different. :) He looks different, too, cos he's wearing his facial hair differently than before and is pretty skinny.

After work, I shimmied on over to my old school cos the lady in charge of placement said she's help me with a resume and some jobs. We got everything set up and she even found a job offer to write HTML codes for MYSPACE!!!! OMG, LOL!!! I gotta brush up on my code writing skills! :p

Afterwards, I called Le Tigre and made plans to go to the mall. While I was waiting for him, Vidal called and we made plans to hang next day he has off. I picked up Le Tigre and we went walking around the mall, he won me some stuffed animals. :D awe He got a Nightmare Before Christmas Party Game, and another gift for his niece. I got a kick-ass locket ring (pics later) and an emo tank top. LOL Then we went to eat at the Grand Buffet, I hadn't been there in ages!

During the ride home I got a bit emotional, call it a delayed reaction, I don't know what came over me, I just started crying in the car. I didn't want to, trust. After I dropped off Le Tigre, I went home and fixed myself up cos I didn't want my parents to see me all emo. I showed them my stuff and now I'm in my room contemplating big WHAT IF shit but at the same time letting it go because it does no good to play WHAT IF. But I feel as if inside me there are so many pieces and I don't know what it is anymore, my heart, my soul, they're all scattered around like a stained glass window and every thing's a beautiful mess, an autumn hue of cut glass and bold borders. And I think it's because I know I'm going to have to let go of something beautiful that I love soon and I know not when that day is going to come and I know not right now how much it's going to hurt, but I know it is coming and I know it will hurt. And I know I shouldn't hurt over something that hasn't happened yet but I need to feel this pain now so when it happens it won't be so bad. Everything doesn't make sense but it's my firm belief that this is what needs to happen or else nothing will make sense anymore. I know you don't know what I mean, but I hope you know that it makes some kind of warped sense in my head. *sigh*

I have to get up early.

LE TIGRE AND ROSES, DON'T FUCK UP ON YOUR PERMIT TEST!!! LOL J/k you guys, kick ass and get that piece of paper!!!
lotsa luv, xoxo, mErci

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t's not in the words that you told me
It's not in the way you say you're mine, ooh
It's not in the way that you came back to me
It's not in the way that your love set me free
It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do