Oh, word blog! I'm taking my time typing as to not aggrivate my hands too much. I've been told I type/talk to much in my blogs. Pfft! Sometimes I do that because I like to go back and sometimes I forget things. *licks the moniter* ---why did I do that?---

I've been fighting with someone I love very much, I don't know why. I still have that complex with people getting to close, it's not as dramatic or as without explination though as it used to be. I just want them to be happy, and if it's not wtih me, so be it. There's more to be seen. And I had to leave people's lives recently because I don't fit in theirs anymore and I'm alright with that because maybe it was ment to be that way.

I made a pact with myself to get to know guys that I like (and guys that like me) but not persue them unless they persue me. This will save from comming off too desperate or weird and show if this person is really interested in me as well. I havn't devoted a lot of time to boys or dating or flirting because I have more important things to do and I'm really not looking to get attatched to anyone new. I just want to get to know people that I'm interested in before I dare ask to go out on a date with them. Kinda like pre-dating without any expectations. LOL

This has come with interesting results. :) Let me share...

Few days ago, one of my co-workers came and talked to me during lunch. He's a nice boy, good-looking, hard working my age in two more months. I've known him for as long as I've worked there, he used to work in garden, now in stationary. But I never really talked to him even though I would have liked to...and he came to me during lunch out of nowhere. (not that I'm complaining...) He showed me his sketch book. He came from time to time the next day, his department is across from my checkstand. He made my Saturday a lot more interesting and fast to work. I like talking to this boy. :) It's been a while since I've felt interested in someone like this. I invited him to my party. (quote of the day: "Are you stealing things from me?" his reply: "Every chance I get!" hmmm...) To see his pic, go to my friends n fiends section of my myspace, he's the one sitting down in a walmart uniform.

Tak convinced me to go to a kick-back with him at a mutual friend of ours. At first I didn't want to go but now I do not regret going. I partied hardy, making up for the few months I havn't partied and blew off a LOT of pent-up steam from weeks past. I met some interesting guys and gals and Tak met a nice gal and I fell in love with a cutie patootie lil' kitty that looks just like Siren.

My head wasn't right all of Sunday, after a Farmer Boy breakfast and a reunion of WalMart employees, I slept until church (I've been fatigued lately, I don't know exactly why, I may be catching something) and went even though I was late. My Sunday's are utterly incomplete without mass. Even with my head not right, it grounded me and centered me around what is really truly important. And I gave thanks to God because, for the first time in a while, I'm truly happy. (save from a few circumstances that will soon pass, happy.) I'm in some sort of limbo about a few situations, it's damaging and I know it. And I need to get over things because if not I'll be stuck in this strange place and that which I'm stuck on will have gone on without me.

And I learned from last time not to wait that long...
Trying to stop spreading myself so thin. *sigh*

Talked to Mike yesterday, showed me his new kick-ass camera. He got a new myspace filled with his top friends of almost nothing but kick-ass bands. Gonna investigate later. I asked him to help me clean off my bass because I don't know how to clean the connections properly. His mother says I've lost weight. :D Talked to Tak way early in the morning and fell asleep with him talking to me. (not that I was bored, just chocked full of medication and uber tired) I slept the best I have in a while. I woke up early to take him to work and threw up when I came back home. ::shrugs shoulders:: I slept too late (I dispise sleeping in) so I got a late start on housework. I have to pick up Tak @ 3, make dinner, vacuum and I'm going to the market with mom later.

I miss Tonzy. :( I would have gone to the library in his honor today had it not been closed. I'm thinking of joining the church's core program again. I've missed being involved. I might try out for Circle V next year. I've missed the St. Vincent Society.

Birthday on Wednesday! I have a psychologist appt., gonna get my hair re-styled (cuz it's really dead and I want a new look) and eat at Sizzler. Yum! This Saturday, yard sale. Buy my shit!!! Next month, my bonus from work and vacation!!!! Mom's going on vacay next weekend, Laughlin with my grandparents. :) She might take my bro.

I guess that's it for now. Hope to see you soon.

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if i could i'd spread the stars for you, just so you can shoot them down