In my dream, the prison where Saul is kept was at the cafeteria of the elementary school down the street from me. It was 11:20pm and somehow it was perfectly acceptable for me to sit in from of the cafeteria door, swing it open, and leave a gift for Saul on the bench inside his cell. It looked like a yellow box from a jewelry store, square about the size of my palm. I don't know what was inside of it.

I then went to my car that was parked in the loading/unloading zone of children in the morning and as much as I would have liked to have slept in my car in that spot (because I was falling asleep) I knew I'd obstruct traffic so I looked back to the parking lot and saw a beat up 90's Toyota so I thought yes, that will be a good place to park.

Suddenly I was in a big room with bright lights and a linoleum floor. It looked like a small kitchen or a classroom. We were being monitored by someone at a big desk with a clock above their heads and a green chalkboard behind them. We were surrounded by middle-folding cafeteria tables that stand tall when you're standing, even taller when you're sitting, which I was. Saul was sitting with me, too, leaned up against the wall and one of the tables, which wasn't a good idea cos the tables are on wheels and can be pushed or knocked over very easily. He was holding me with his left arm and I was laying on him. He asked me, "Can you feel this?" and I grazed my fingertips against his arm and I was alarmed because I could barely feel him, my hands were partially numb. I started almost crying and said, "I can't feel you", then he put my head on his chest and I held him, crying, knowing I couldn't sit like this with him but not caring at the same time.

After that, I was in a car, recalling the dream with Saul, knowing I wanted to write about it! My mother and I were at a hospital where there was some sort of exhibition or special day for that particular flood because there where children with clipboards walking around, smiling, directing some people. There where two large double doors and inside there were the same smiling children in the coma patient wing. We were allowed to see inside the rooms, there were people laying on beds on respirators and their rooms were very dark. Their bodies were barely lit by the light of the nurse's station in an unnatural matter, seeing how only half their bodies lying horizontally were being lit, as if the doorway was much shorter.

Mom and I walked around this exhibit and somehow we knew that there was a doctor who was famous, maybe from TV, there to diagnose people's illnesses. She was a tall, thin black woman with short hair in curls wearing a solid colour blouse with a black pencil skirt and black flats. Although we know we missed her panel, she was hanging out where the elevators were talking to someone. I asked her to examine the back on my heel and it looked awful, all white and thick. She said, "Oh, my...ask (didn't remember her name, it began with an S though), she had this before." And I knew she meant that she cured this girl. The girl was at the doorway to the double doors with a clipboard and wearing a dress. Mom and I approached her and started to say, "Dr. said you had this before, what can I do..." Just then a young boy called to her and she left through the now open double doors as if we weren't even there talking to her. I felt angry and hurt she just left us there.

We walked to the left of the double doors and into a hallway where at the end of it was a daycare center with children inside. The room had lots of natural sunlight coming through the windows and it had lots of toys in cubbyholes with a bright coloured oval rug with thick weave. We walked on through the entire back part of the offices only to turn out into the coma ward once again. Somehow I got my mom in a gurney, she had on a standard hospital gown and had her eyes closed. I thought she pretending to be asleep. She had a white sheet over her face. I pushed her down to the elevators and peeked under the sheets cos I abruptly stopped on purpose to see if my mom would wake up. She was passed out cold, her face looked like she'd been sleeping for a long time already. I let her sleep and figured I put her in the gurney so she could have an excuse to sleep. She made little snoring sounds which was a change from her usual big snores cos of her sleep apnea. The elevator door opened and people were going to get in but the person inside made eye contact with me and let me push my mom into the narrow elevator.

I woke up then.

I suppose this came from the call I got from Saul yesterday about his warrants that may not show up until he's almost out therefore getting more time. I do wish he was closer to me, therefore the school prison. I read a story about how a teen lost her feeling in her hands and feet due to falling ill to the swine flu and shortly after fell so ill she was in intensive care and almost died. I'm sick with a virus, I do not know what. I was scared to feel Saul cos I knew I couldn't keep him or control myself to show him my sadness over not being able to keep him. Last night, I could hear my mother snore much louder than normal and I'm scared for her because she has severe sleep apnea times 2, I don't want anything to happen to her. I guess the kids came from the new kids in my class trying out new procedures and whatnot on me and the other students in class. I'm not sure where the daycare came from but I knew I was happy to see it.