After just a few days of preparations and high tensions and emotions all around, the first of two emotionally grueling days came about. But two days that were also filled with so much love and respect for my grandfather, Manuel Guerra.

We came to the funeral home where the viewing/rosary was held. We had full run of the kitchen which was filled with snacks, sodas and relatives/friend of ours. There were cousins, aunts, uncles and friends I hadn't seen in years and years. They all say, "I remember seeing you when you were this (gestures hand low to the ground) high!" Being there before everyone else for the private family time, we had a chance to set up the collage boards, prayer cards, and guest book. The entrance to the chapel had a wonderful recent picture of a chubbier grandpa, smiling.

Grandma kept visiting the casket the most, it was so hard to see her crying so hard. He chose a beautiful casket with silver handles, baby blue interior and embroidery with birds on it that said, "Going Home". One by one, my brother, cousins and myself placed a picture of ourselves on the interior next to his body per his wishes. Other pictures, drawing and items were placed inside later. I hated looking at my grandfather in his coffin, he didn't look like himself of course. It was upsetting. I like to remember him the way he was when he was alive. My Uncle Manuel asked me to lead the immediate family in a prayer and recited Psalm 23, a verse my grandfather favoured.

As more people showed up, it was clear to see how big his family is and how many people outside the family he touched. When everyone who wanted to showed up, there was standing room only around the entire chapel. Mom sat with my grandmother and the rest of the siblings. I sat with my dad, who kept a reassuring hand on my shoulder that weirded me out, we're not touchy-touchy but I understood where that came from. The priest led the service where he gave his own personal account with my grandfather, having known him for many many years. Grandpa's fellow Eucharistic ministers stood guard in front of his casket clothed in the same type robe and medallion that my grandfather is buried in, it was very touching to see his fellow parishioners there for him.

After the rosary, people were asked to give testimonies about my grandfather. My cousin Leacha gave a wonderful speech on how much he loved his family. Another woman from the Abuelitos of Boyle Heights group told of grandpa's character and activity in the group. The City of Los Angeles gave my grandfather a posthumous award of recognition for his activity in this group. A man named Steve who is married to a cousin, Nina, who used to live with my grandparents and their children, spoke about how funny grandpa is and how he loves to laugh and his faith in God.

Then it was my turn to speak. The whole time I was cracking in my voice and shaking. I told everyone about how my grandfather always treated his grandchildren like royalty when we went out with him, how he seemed to know everybody. How he'd take us to East LA college to play racket ball and encourage us to collect the tennis balls people left behind. How he'd do peculiar things like tie strings around a beetle's leg and fly them around like kites! How excited he was tell his stories, how he was always there for all of us and how he is larger than life. I told everyone what a great man he is, how he showed me what a man should be and those are the qualities I strive for in my future husband. How he always encourages me to stay in the faith and how great his love of God and the church is. That no matter what we did, he was proud of us. No matter what we'd done, he loves us. And he wanted more for us always. I made a lot of people laugh and a lot of people cry with the things I said. And they were all true and came from the heart, I had no speech prepared. I just knew it would come pouring out of my heart from God once the time came. I saw my dad crying when I gave my testimony. I've only ever seen my dad cry maybe 4 or 5 times in my life. After I sat down, I started to cry hard, I miss my grandpa so much, I couldn't help it. I was fine pretty much until that point, it's like reality came and said, This Is It.

After the service concluded, I wandered from the chapel to the kitchen, talking to random family members, keeping an eye on my grandma and mom. A lot of people came up to me and said my speech was beautiful and that what I said was right on. A lot of people looked at the collages, pointing out familiar portraits while listening to a mixed CD my aunt set up of my grandpa's favourite music. It was a great mix.

We all pretty much left when my grandma couldn't be there anymore. My uncle and grandmother thanked me very much for my testimonial and I was happy to do it. My cousin Michael came with us home after a late Jack in the Box nom sesh and I went to sleep more tired than I'd been since my trip to Disneyland. Only this was mentally exhausting. I fell asleep after texting Matt for a while and prayed for the next day to come and for us to be prepared.

Some Pictures, none of any in the actual chapel for respect of the dead and I didn't want any proof or remembrance of my grandfather in that coffin.

My grandfather's picture as you entered the chapel

the collages on display

Left to right: Cousin Michael, Auntie Ana, Auntie Clara & little bro Jer

Cheese? hehe

Aunt Clara looks on at the lovable tard that is my bro & Moi, very tired

Part Two: The Funeral ... to come soon

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Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.