First, the basics: I've been meaning to write for a while, but every time I try, I don't know...ech...well, the first day with dad was alright, except that Little Bro found a way to piss him off. Whatevers. I spent my x-mas money/certificates at Best Buy. I wanted to find a plain old point and shoot camera, but alas, there is no such thing now and days. I got the Invader Zim series number 1 and 3. They didn't have number 2 and I didn't have enough money for it anyway. I was going to buy the Best of Silverchair Vol. 1, but it was $15 and I was only going to buy it for one song. :p
I've been thinking about cutting my hair to my jawline. Just for fun. :) If there are any objections, please let me know. :)

The Main Problem:I don't know if me and Vidal are going to be together for long. He told me yesterday that he considers flirting cheating and that he won't allow me to hug anyone for a long time anymore. It's kind of that "one more step" thing; one more weird insecurity of his and I'm gone. Still, I'd like him to break up with me...but either way, I want to be with him, but his insecurities are causing so much drama. No matter how much he tries to deny it, he's a drama queen. Also, I fear being alone and I'm always questioning why he chose me. It's inconcievable that someone that beautiful would want someone who's so ugly. *sigh* I'm supposed to see him later on tonight. I don't know what's going to happen. But I can only think posative.
Another thing, I don't want to be like everyone else that's mistreated him. (Meaning, I don't want to mistreat him) I want him to see the good in himself, but he is so damaged from constantly being betrayed, I don't know if he *could* see something good in himself. And if you don't love yourself, how could you, in turn, even try to love someone else??? *sigh* It's so complicated...I don't know what to do.
On an un-nerving note, I realized last night that if I were to lock myself in my bathroom and drown myself in the bathtub, no one would find me for at least through the night and well into the next day. Spooky, huh? Not that I'm thinking about it, it's just un-settling. It tells me what kind of caring people I'm dealing with.
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ThErE iS tHiS nOiSe iN mY hEaD...