Last night Kevin came to my house and we talked. And we needed that talk. I wanted to look at him in his eyes when he told me what he needed to and I wanted him to see me. I'm very glad he wanted to tell me things in person. We cleared the air about the major problems and it looks like, in a while, things will be better for both of us. We still very much care for one another and that's important to me because I would hate to have lost someone like him from my life. We're just better off away from a romantic relationship. I like how we're on the same page now. Things will get better...

I'm smiling?

This week has been tough for me because my body and mind have been going through so many changes, I didn't even know...I'm dropping weight but my face is broken out again. :( My head is still angry but I want to be happy.

I found out today that Pepsi Vendor Albert has a daughter...woah. I'd still like to get to know him but now I know my limitations. I'm not against single parents or anything, and I've dated a guy with a kid before it's just conflicting for me because I wouldn't want to make waves in any way between the child and their parents.

I saw James yesterday, the first time in EONS! I was feeling rather moody but when I saw him, I felt calm again. I'm not a stupid fangirl around him anymore but I still really love his hugs and talking to him. I'm hoping that we can start talking again. He gave me the insperado to start up with my art work to help me through my depression. Sometimes I forget I have so many outlets. I don't know how.

This whole week I've been feeling like I've been waiting for something or someone and it never came, that I think I'll be feeling like this for a while. I was burned out but the days flew by. I pray that, in this (God's will), that I will find something to calm me for now and that I can stop feeling like I have to be ready for that something.

I'm going to have dinner with a friend. Maybe that'll cheer me up.

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when I speak, do you hear me at all?