We went to the beach today, and it was soooo awesome! Mela brought her friend Shannon. She is a cute blonde hair blue eyed surfer chicky! I got to eat an egg McMuffin today! Yay! Cheap thrills! There wern�t that many people that went on account that it was overcast and Evita�s party was today. The people that came that were on my beach blanket (and surrounding!) were: Mela, Shannon, Play Brother, Joanna, Jensing, Briana, Maggot, Denise, Chelly, Eddie R., Eddie D., Pinky, Rosa, Rose, and later on, Jackie, Sal, and Mindy. Mindy drove moi, Maggot, Brianna, and Rose to the beach and she came back later to drive us back. Nick was in charge of the BBQ but he didn�t bring anything to light it with, so everyone was asking everyone else for a lighter and/or matches. A lot of people asked me for my lighter since a lot of them knew that I smoked, but I told them, �I don�t have it anymore, I quite, remember?!� hehe!

There was a lot to do at the beach. I collected a few shells along the shore and since we went to a different beach than last year, there were different shells. These shells were perfect! They look really awesome! I watched Mela and Shannon use their boogie boards. We were at Huntington Beach and it was so nice there! The bathrooms were decent, they had rental station were you could rent bikes and boards and stuff and there was a pier! Maggot, Denise, Brianna and myself walked to were the pier was and the radio station K-ROQ was there. They were promoting a new magazine called Elle Girl and a band with four really cute guys was playing! We saw this one white dude with a mohawk-mullet hair-do dancing really funny! I got a keychain from the K-ROQ booth and I also got two pins that say �VOTE FOR PEDRO� and �Vote for Summer�. I don�t know what it�s for, but I still got it. I found out later on that they were giving out samples of the magazine and some lotion and junk. Eh, whatever. We made our way back to where we were through a street market. Everything there was way expensive and I didn�t bring my money then so I didn�t get anything. (And there was a pair of cute red earrings there, too!)

I listened to music and drew a few sketches and talked to my friends while eating hotdogs and candy and sipping on warm sodas. :p I had so much fun! It was even more fun later on when Jackie and Sal came and a bunch of us swarmed on my beach blanket and talked about everything and anything. We even talked about the details of Adrian�s accident with Jensing and Joanna. (They�re always with him and Joanna is Adrian�s girlfriend) After that, Jackie and me walked along the shore and we saw some guys from the college team that we liked. I barely realized today that I have an overwhelming crush on Pinky. (The kind of love I had for Mario before I found out who he really was. Except for I've known Pinky for about three or four years now on a consistant basis, so I have a better idea of who he is) It hit me today when I saw him running towards me to go to the beach. He also complemented my sketch of a gothic girl and when I told him that the way he had his hair made him look like one of the Beatles. :p I told this to Jackie and she seemed relieved that I wasn�t talking about Mario like this. She told me that she didn�t like Mario, even though she didn�t give a specific answer as to why. Jackie did tell me the cake incident did push it over the edge, though. After all the Life Teen people got out of the water, Eddie D. and Pinky greeted us and I hugged them both. It felt good to hug them. :)

After a while, it started to get really cold, so the guys in charge started a bonfire. It was good to be near there except for the ash and the smoke that got in your eyes and made you tear up. Jackie and I went to the bathroom later on and Eddie D. went with us because he had to change. He�s a really funny guy! While me and Jackie sat on the floor and waited for Eddie D., a pink water balloon that had been filled with air came up and hit Jackie upside the head! It was funny because it came out of nowhere and it was pink! Jackie�s favorite colors are black and pink!

We sat around the bonfire making s�mores and playing with the lighter fluid. We were all having a great time! Then we stood up and we had praise and worship for three songs long. I felt like I was going to faint the whole time, but I didn�t then, thankfully. Poor Jackie was in the way of the ashes and suet so her eyes were tearing up very badly. It looked like she was crying hard, the poor thing! I love her so much!!!

We went back into town and most of us went to Star Burger. While we were there, Mario called my cell phone and invited himself over to where we were. I didn�t really want to see him. Not a lot of people did. He sat next to me and talked. A while after he came, I felt really sick and started to shake and Play Brother, knowing my condition, asked me if I was alright and I told him I wasn�t and he told me �Go home,� in a way that wasn�t mean or anything because he knew what would come.

I fainted a short time after that and when I woke up Mindy was checking my pulse and everyone was concern about me. I felt totally sick and embarrassed that it happened. I felt sick and wanted to go home but Mario was insistent on making me stay to talk to me about his endevors. This was the last straw for me and I called my mother to ask her to pick me up. Play Brother had called her right after I fainted to tell her what happened. I had to sit through ten of the longest minutes of my life listening to Mario�s embelishments. He was making me so uncomfortable that I couldn�t remember why he had had such a strong hold of me in the first place. I was glad to leave when I did, and apologized to everyone who was there. Jackie gave me a hug and kiss goodbye and I left.

My mom brought my brothers to pick me up and I didn�t want them there because Jordan always yells at me to embarrass me and Little Brother already made alligations to me that I was faking it. >: I dispise the way that he thinks he knows everything. I went home and felt so embarrassed and stupid for fainting in front of everyone and I loathed the way I felt ashamed of it. I felt so ashamed and so disgusted with myself for even going there when I wasn�t that hungry. What�s more, I had distain for myself because I had told Mario where I was, but then I thought to myself, he invited himself. I want nothing from him anymore, not even a handshake. He bothers me and makes me feel uncomfortable. I liked him in the first place because he seemed so myserious. I thought he was one way in my mind and I allowed myself to entertain that thought in my head. But now I know the way is truly is and I don�t like it. I went through the same thing with Maggot, but this time I made a point to get to know Mario a bit more before I put anything on the table and I �m glad I waited because I would have hated to see the way it would have turned out the other way. I�m through living with the Beautiful. I need the Truth. I would rather have the harsh, ugly truth than to be left with a beautiful letdown.

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