it would make me happiest if i could just fade away from existance and watch everyone from above, watch everything move without me, in no one's thoughts or words, in no one's lives destroying them, in nothing of no one, there is nothing else that would make me happier right now. Why can't I have this granted? WHY? I wish I didn't make that promise. I wish I could just fade away right now. Won't someone please make me fade away? If anyone could make this happen, they'd be my greatest hero right now. They'd be my greatest treasure in life right now. Nothing would make me happier. NoThiNg...

dear gawd, I smell like pills, it's comming out of my pores, it's in my sweat, i smell like pills, like PILLS!!! FUCK PILLS!!!! I AM NOT MADE OF PILLS!!! I REFUSE TO BE MADE OF PILLS AGAIN!!! NOTHING MORE OF PILLS!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I HATE THAT I LOVED YOU!!! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!! YOU NEVER NEEDED ME!!! YOU RUINED ME AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE!!! YOU JUST TOOK WHAT YOU WANTED FROM ME TILL I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!!! YOU'RE A DISGUSTING BASTARD AND I WISH YOU HAD DIED!!!! FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME THERE ARE NO WORDS, YOU SUCK AS A HUMAN BEING AND DESERVE TO BE PLACED IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL AND I HOPE YOU ARE RAPED EVERY SECOND OF YOUR AFTER LIFE LIKE YOU DID TO ME!!!! YOU HAD NO RIGHT! YOU HAD NO RIGHT!!!! FUCK IT.

I fuck you because you're famous.
I fuck you for your money.
I fuck you to control you.
I fuck you so someday I can have half of everything you own.
I fuck you to fuck you over.
I fuck you 'til I find someone better.
I fuck you in secret.
I fuck you because I can't remember if I already fucked you before.
I fuck you out of boredom.
I fuck you because I can't feel it anyway.
I fuck you to make the pain go away.

Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do.
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do.
HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.

I fuck you so I can feel something instead of nothing at all.
I fuck you because you're beautiful.
I fuck you because you're my nigger.
I fuck you because I am your whore.
I fuck you because you are a whore.
I fuck you for fun.
I fuck you for fun.
I fuck you because I can.
I fuck you so I have a place to stay.
I fuck you so you will protect me.

Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.