Yesterday they had me training some new cashiers. I usually am really happy to have new hires to teach them but yesterday I wasn't. I don't know why, I think it's cos I was freaked out about my area being messy and whatnot. There was a vendor from Sobe drinks handing out coupons for Pepsi and Sobe drinks so there was a LOT of sodas. He was nice though and he came later to give me a free green tea. Awe :)

During my lunch, Saul tried to surprise me by showing up to work. :) AWE!!!! I picked him up in the parking lot and we ate at Church's Chicken. (Why? 3 peices leg and thigh for $1.99, yo!!!!) We ate and talked and I was happy to see him. He said he'd be around so we could hang out after work.

After work, Saul and I picked up mom, joked about how we need to put a shark fin on the top of her car LOL and got gas. We stood in uploading new pictures on myspace, listening to music and talking, lots of talking. He said things that I couldn't believe, that I couldn't have imagined how much he cared and I know in my heart that this isn't some infatuation and that what I feel for him is unlike anything I've felt for anyone else. I cried when he told me something of how he felt. He makes me feel so carefree and happy, like nothing bad's going to happen. I feel happy in his arms and knowing that he has his eyes on me and only me. I haven't felt this girlie or happy in a very long time, I can't describe how different I feel when he's around me.

Before my parents left, they told me to open the windows of my room because it was stuffy but I told them I was freaked out about the little brother roaming that he might do something to me and my mom said, "There's someone here that won't let that happen to you!" and Saul smile and so did I knowing they knew he was there to help me. When my dad left the room, he said, "Be Good. The GOOD kind of good!" and we got a good little chuckle out of that. That's the farthest thing from my mind, I'm totally smitten talking to him and getting to know him better. I don't know why I never saw him like this before but I'm very glad I do and he's happy that I changed my mind and giving him a change. Mom says Saul looks like a knight hehe! and she likes him okay. She warned me that he was getting attached and I told her, "It's okay...I want him to get attached...cos I am...I like this boy, mommy!" :p I don't know what my dad thinks of him yet but I'm going to ask him.

Later in the evening, Kevin called me because he needed someone to talk to. I had a hell of a time getting out of the house but I went over, we talked and everything's okay. Admittedly I'm still feeling close to him but the way I see him has changed dramatically because I know I can't help him. I'll always hold a certain sense of want to try to help him and make him happy. But I know that deep in my heart things are changed and they'll never be the way they were and in the end, we're always going to be close and there for one another in different ways. I could never walk away from him because we went through so much with one another and in the end we're still standing and we care but we're both warped in our own ways that makes for awesome chemistry but also big barriers within one anothers hearts. We'll see what happens down the road in our lives. But it's easier for me to leave each visit with him now knowing that he doesn't view me as a horrible failure and as a close friend.

Hopefully my car gets fixed this weekend. Then I can drive up to Tak's and give him his welcome back care package! I'm going to see him and the rest of the otakus tonight. :D partypartyparty! Sunday, Saul and I are going to hang out. I can't wait to see him! :)

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Can you awake from sleep downed
you allow me to steal
Gagging on selfish hide
when you crawl to kneel