I've decided not to look too much at the past year of my entries. Because they're all of Mike and I and the Mike that is here now is not the one I feel so blindly in love with. Further more, I decided all on my own that if I did have the chance to get back with him, I wouldn't because of all the things that have been happening now. He did a lot of things he told me he'd never do and changed so much I don't know who he is anymore. He's a new Mike and this one I'm not blind to. Also, there were things that we would always conflict on and they wern't going to be things we could deal with or work out, they'd always bug us. We were never right for eachother, but we did mesh well. We didn't make it past forever, but we did a good job at the moment. We did make eachother happy and changed our lives for the better, but now we have to part ways and make ourselves better and heal the damage we've done to eachother and ourselves. I'm better off right now because I'm different and I need to get to know myself more and he wants to spend time with his new friends. I'm nowhere near over this, but a good chunk of me is ready to move on. I still need to accept that he has friends (and he never had any when he was with me) and that they're welcomed at his house and I'm not. That kills me. But I have to get over it. I've even made so bold a step as to take off the pre-engagement ring that he gave me and put it away. *sigh* Amelindy said that it seemed like he smothered me while we were together, and he did, but I was happy to be there because I was blind and in love. Love does make you do and think differently. (Thanks, Pixie) And maybe what Ms. Mishay said was right; that this is a blessing and that it could be 8 years later with children and he leaves you. I'm going to stand firm on this and try not to crumble like I have been and be the very best me without him that I can be. :)

Thank you, Mike. We had a great run. Let's see were the next one takes us.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me