I think it was the shooting that happened last night that may have spawned this dream. Turns out someone DIED yesterday. Shit, kinda makes you scared in your own neighborhood, I never understood that fear until now. I feel safe in my house but not really on my block, but this is Baldwin Park fer cryin' out loud. >.<

Tonzy called me around 2am cos he had to go around the police blockade AT THAT HOUR and wanted to know if I was alright, if Jerry was alright. It's sad I'm not the only one that thought my brother was in trouble. Kevin also called me last night just to tell me that he wasn't mad at me, so I'm glad. All is well, somewhat for now.

I can't really remember my dream 100% but I know it felt real and I felt absolutely awful while I was having it. (If you haven't seen Secret Window, don't read this if you want to, it has spoilers)

The dream started off like Secret Window. I was at the part where Johnny Depp was deranged and had an ax in his hand and was trying to ditch his car into the lake.

Then I was in a back yard that looked like mine except it had broken concrete all over it. An old white man was there who was kinda overweight with white hair and I was getting a kitten from him, a cute orange tabby kitten that was skinny. I saw that he was on the floor curled up in the fetal position and I was kicking him over and over again. There where two other kittens on the floor next to him, one white, the other I couldn't see. And I think I was kicking him because I wanted the other kitten, too. I freakin' KILLED the old man for another kitten! I saw blood pooling under his stomach.

All of a sudden I was in my mom's car with my mom, I was driving and we were at my old high school driving in and out of the trailers in the parking lot. I was feeling horrible guilt but at the same time not feeling anything at all, just having an aloof exterior. My hair was black and layered with bangs and I wasn't wearing my glasses. My nose also looked different. We stopped at what looked like the gym and I parked saying, "I'll be right back," and I had 3 quarters in my pocket. When I got into the building it was a big gym full of tables with games and people where playing all sorts of board games. It was like a club; you pay a dollar for a month and you can come into this place and play games with people. I fished out my money from my pocket and another quarter from my purse and gave it to the person. I saw they also had another kind of game that you had to pay extra for that really interested me (though I know not now what it was) and was trying to look for another quarter. I was also trying to understand the poster that was hanging in the hall: it was a handwritten one with cursive orange letters going up at a 45 degree angle. I know there was one big loop in it.

I looked it up and orange denotes hope, friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests. And white represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. However, in Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.

O.O meow! What a strange freakin' dream!

And for some reason I woke up thinking, "Hey, it's my AIM buddy's birthday today...why can't I remember when Mike's birthday is?" LOL

I'm going to the market today. :)

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I don't my mom would like me grave robbin', Scumby