I'm finding that not all bad things are as bad as they seem under the surface. Some rumours can become a comforting lie and the truth seems so far out it doesn't mean shit to what's really going on. And that the people that hurt me can still be there to comfort me and the people that used to be so sweet can be monsters in a blink of an eye. And that the people that lied to me had to to protect themselves and that's understandable, but the people who lied to me just to lie makes no fucking sense.

My point is nothing is as it seems, good or bad. No one can be trusted fully. I will NOT be a fucking victim again.

Thank you, to that special person who helped me through this fucked up time. Thank you so much. I hope one day to be as strong and as decisive as you. And I pray that God takes away your vulnerability to everyone's shit. I also hope I'm not your shit. And I am still your friend, just from a-far and I do not take advantage of you.

I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to think about what happened anymore. I don't want to close my eyes and see those eyes or hear that voice or feel what I felt inside of me ever again. I don't want to think about what's going on or how it's happening or what has been going on or how it's going to be.

I don't want to ever hate anyone or feel anger anymore.

I never want to hurt anyone as much as the fucker who made me feel this way did.

You'll get yours, you two-faced asshole.
Oh, you'll get yours.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Let me take you down cuz I'm going to
Strawberry Fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry Fields Forever