Yeah, I'm home for lunch. I forgot to bring some of my pills to work so here I am. :p

I saw Mike as I left. Usually I'd kill whatever plans I had and hang out with him, but a lot went on yesterday that let me move on a great deal, so I'm not his little kitty anymore following him around.

Some of it still hurts, I don't expect it to stop anytime soon, but I feel the worst is over...until I see him with another girl, then I'll flip out again, then I'll be over it again.

I made Mike some dinner and he ate it with delight after work. Then I gave him his Christmas gifts; a fancy decorative hunting knife with a stand and a candle with a skull on it. He was greatful. A little too greatful.

Now I have a completely different outlook on who he is. And I'm thinking, Fuck, I was totally blinded by love to see all of this. And yeah, this is a blessing that we broke up when we did. I don't know if he's acting different to push me a way or something, but it's working. I'm getting over him really quickly and it's something that used to scare me because I used to think, "What if he still wants me?" but now, I know if he does, he does. He's done his work with me, and he let me go. Now someone else will reap the benifits of his work. And he wanted it that way. Because he's scared of another relationship with me. That's my doing but I know in my heart I will never do that again.

I think Carlos from work likes me. :p

Three more days till I hang with Tuk!

About 15 min. till I have to go back to work until 5 pm. *sigh* I pray I make it!

Lord, let me forget and move on. Let me live and not let anyone get me down or in my way. Let me go forth and explore beyond what I know and allow myself to see what else is out there for me.

And above all, may I be a woman about it.

Amen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

give me a reason to love you
give me a reason to be a woman
I just wanna be a woman
that's all I want to be, is just a woman
This is the beggining of forever
And ever