Mom came with me today to visit Saul. Before then, his friend told me to tell him that he misses him and that I'm a good woman and Saul's a lucky guy that I care for him so much. That touched me deeply because I know for the first time I feel like I can take that compliment. Visiting was great, our visits are less tense and more joking around, plans for the future and worries about the present that will hopefully be resolved. His hair is getting long fast! And we're in better spirits. Mom and I hit Ontario Mills and ate lunch though I felt way sick afterward.

So after I came home, I was hanging with Kevin and I came home cos Jer told me I locked Squeaky Toy in my room. >.< Then he tells me my dad is in the hospital. I didn't believe him at first cos he jokes about these kinds of things, but then he said it was his back.

I called my mom and she said that dad hurt his back so badly in the back yard while he was feeding the dogs that he had to Army-man crawl into the house and the ambulance was called cos neither mom nor Jer could pick him up. I go to the hospital where he's hooked up to an IV and sleeping from all the pain killers. My dad hates feeling doped up and they put him on FOUR different pain killers, he's going to really not like this later. Mom said there wasn't any point in me staying there and to go home and get some rest, but I wanted her to go home so she can rest. She needed to do all the paper work though. So I'm home.

My dad has always been the strongest guy I know who could do anything. And to know that he's getting older and frailer and these things happen with age hurts me, that my dad isn't the super-strong do-all dad. I learned this only recently it seems, though I've known it and seen it for a while. *sigh* I'm worried about him. I hope he gets better. He's supposed to have a worker's comp dr. appointment tomorrow but I don't know what's to become of that now.

Anyway, I'm thinking of reinventing myself once again. I revamped my look a few months ago with a new hair cut/colour, weight loss, clothes and glasses. I want to change my hair again. Right now it's in long layers, half red/half black with long bangs. I'm thinking of maybe dying it blue/green like I've been wanting to (after my hearing), or just dying everything black and cutting my bangs again (think Bettie Page) or cutting the bangs into a V shape. I want to keep the length, I haven't had my hair this long in nearly four years! I'm just not sure of my bangs, to keep them long or cut them short again, and the colour. Hmm...

Pics for reference:

How my hair looks like pretty much right now: (I just woke up in this pic :p My gawd, my hair is thin)

Red hair with bangs: (I was 18 in this pic, OMG, look , I have EYEBROWS! I look so HAPPY!)

All black hair:

If I cut my bangs in a V shape (prom pic, '03, not a great day LOL):

the colour I'd like it (if it were a bit more blue, pic circa 2006):

better pic of the colour (though not of me! I think I was pissy here for some reason...):

Hmm...what do you all think? Lemme know.

Oh, and just for fun, Squeaky Toy attacking my hair/face:

:p tee-hee!

Well, I have NO idea when my parents are coming home, I'm worried about my dad and I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow but we'll see. *sigh* Meow.

UPDATE: He's coming home now but he's so hurt right now he can't climb up the three stairs up the porch so we have to walk him in the back way. :( *sigh*

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I think I need a new canvas