I saw James this morning. He gave me one of his hugs. His hugs are borderline uncomfortably long, but it makes me never want to leave his arms. His hugs feel awesome. He holds me really close to him and our faces just barely touch and I can smell his scent. ::melt:: And he lingers a little bit after the hug, he looks in my eyes and smiles. The first time he hugged me I kind of thought he was going to kiss me on the cheek. meep. I keep thinking to myself, Why do I like this guy? He doesn't seem to show the same interest in me. He never calls me when he says he will (except for two times), I always call him. I just can't help it. *sigh* I guess it's the mystery of it all, I can tell it's because I think he's interesting and that there's a lot to know about him. We've talked for about 8 weeks or so now and have learned a lot about eachother and our interests and stuff. And we've gone out once, which was uncomfortable, but at least we went out. I dunno. Jeeze, I wish I knew where I stood with him. I know he considers me a friend, but past that, I have no idea if he's even interested in me that way. Argh.

I've been thinking about Tako, talking to him and stuff. How much has happened in the past week. We went from being cool with hanging with eachother with no relationship in mind to him wanting to be with me and wait for me. And we love eachother. Somehow this got brought up in conversation with Mike as I was leaving work today and he told me, "Why don't you just do it? Be in love," He of all people should know, I don't want to repeat the past mistakes. And I'm not ready to settle down with someone. And I don't know when I'll be ready. *sigh* I love Tako, that's there, it's a fact. What to do with that love, I'm unsure of. I just want us to go along like we have been, still getting to know eachother. But I'm scared if I wait too long I'll loose him. But if I loose him, I guess it wasn't ment to be.

Anyways, Tako's gonna come over this weekend from Saturday night to Monday afternoon. <3 He's going to the bay area come Tuesday for work so we want to see eachother as much as possible before that happens cuz when he's out on work, he doesn't have an internet connection and I don't talk to him at all. :( can't have that. I'm going to enjoy every minute I'm with him. <3 <3 <3

In other news, I finished my flash project. As soon as I find out how, I'm going to upload it and share it with everyone. :D It's simple, but cool. Oh, and I was REALLY sick yesterday, tummy flu I believe. So was Jer, but he had food poisoning from eating raw pizza dough. Dork. I thought he was faking it but mom called me and told me he threw up all over the place and was taking him to the hospital. Oi! He's doing much better now.

Can't wait till Saturday. Gonna see my babe.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you