I don't see how some people can be so wonderful and way inside so horrible. I don't see how someone so close to me could lie to me. I don't see how I thought this person was different and good inside. I don't see how myself trusting this person anymore. I don't see how I trusted this person with so much. I dont see how I gave this person so much of me and got lies in return. I don't see how something so ugly could be surrounded by such beauty. I don't see how I can't hate this person, but feel so much anger that it makes me want to scream and cry and yell. I don't see how this person lost so much respect for themselves. I don't see how I could have put so much love in this person. I don't see how this person was better than anyone just because they loved me, too. I don't see how this person can NOT see that they're hurting me. I don't see how this was a fluke or an accident the way they hurt me. I don't see how I can love anyone the way I used to without that fear of getting hurt again. I just don't see how. All I see is that right now I want to be wanted and loved, or at least feel it and it be for real, whatever horrible reality it is. If someone wants me for a date or a girlfriend because they think I'm nice and attractive, then they want me that way. If someone wants to fuck me because they think I'm hot or I'm just a hole, then they want to fuck me. BE HONEST! It's not going to happen either way, but I don't like being lied to or toyed with. I want the truth, for all it's horribleness, all it's glory, all the way through. This person fucked up. They fucked up big time. And it may not be who you think. (I can't even believe it's who it is.) But this person fucked up. They fucked up big time. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* How many ways do you want to tear my heart?