I saw mi amore today, Jaime C. I'm starting to see who he is, and he's beautiful and human at the same time. He showed up today with a grubby stubble (which I love) darker looking hair, a black button-down with the sleeves rolled up and dark blue jeans. He looked so handsome.

He stood after for the meeting with the retreat team, and I'm glad he did. A bunch of us went to Carl's Jr. afterwards and I rode with him to and from there. I think Nick got mad at him, though, because he was playing around with Michelle. :p

Before he dropped me off, we talked for a while, and he talked and talked about all sorts of wonderful things that left me speechless. He is so intelligent and different. I feel like I'm stupid when I talk to him because I don't say much and he seems so much more into God than I. He is so into God and he lives for Him and, ugh, it's so cool! I love him and I believe God put us together in that car so I could see more of him, so I could know how I truly feel about him. Jaime C. really opened my mind about things.

I wanted to kiss him, to tell him how wonderful I think he is for belonging to God. Believe it or not, I didn't want him like a boyfriend, I wanted him like--how could I say it...I just wanted him like a great friend, like someone that I can hug and not let go of. I see him as such a beautiful young man. He's so--uh--wonderful. I truly see God in Jaime C. I wanted to stay in that car listening to him forever, but he had to go, and so did I. And I think he thinks I'm stupid because I don't talk much around him. It's hard for me to talk about God and how I feel about Him because then I always feel like what the other person had to say about Him was so eliquently put that it didn't matter what I had to say.

I gave Jaime C. my stash box, which was a stainless steel box about 1'X1' and maybe a 1/2' thick. Inside was my penny with the cross on it. I gave it to him because those things I really, really liked, but I wanted him to know how much I loved him. It's sort of my insurance that I'll see him again and that he'll remember me. He says that he'll give me something, but I don't want anything from him.

Jaime C. is going to the Peace Corps in 2 years, and to the seminary after that. He's going to call so many people to God...and I can't help but know that this is the will of God and a way for me to know that I'm not in charge. And I'm thankful for that.