Last afternoon, my biggest worry was trying to figure out how I was going to make 3 costumes for Pyrate Daze, getting to meet a friend for sushi on time and jobs. Last night, things decided to get much, much worse.

I was hanging out outside with my parents when Le Tigre (Kevin) called to come hang out. He was going to come earlier, he said, but got caught up with some friends of a friend. We were in my room and about to watch Wolf's Rain when there was a racket outside. All we heard was scuffing sneakers and punches being landed. My brother and his friends were outside so I thought some stupid rivals came to kick their ass, nothing different. But this time was different cos they came in a car to purposely jump my brother and his friends. One of them had a gun.

All I could hear was, "Do it then! Do it, fucker!" but nothing happened. I went to see if the front door was closed and Jer (my bro) said, "Get back in your room!" The guys eventually left and my brother told me and my parents to leave right away. I ran with my purse, Kevin drove us away and I thought my parents were right behind us. I was scared because Jer said they might come back. I have the very front room and GOD FORBID they do a drive by, I'm right by the window. Kevin kept calm throughout the whole situation which was good.

We hung out at his house for a while, my other best friend Crystal G. from around the block texted me that there were cops everywhere and to call her to tell her I was okay. I called, we talked for a bit. She said the cops were on her block as well and that she called me when she heard my address over the police radio.

Dad called me to come back cos the cops wanted to talk to me. Kevin drove and walked me back to our house. Mom and dad were outside talking to the police because the guys who were in the car broke 3 of my dad's windows and chucked a set of blinds through our front window where we have the dinner table. Mom told me it was a good thing that I left when I did because they handcuffed everyone in the house, herself and my dad included! I couldn't believe it! Mom's never been in trouble with the law and had never been handcuffed by police, they even made her get on the ground. Jer, Joey, and their friend Daryl were on the curb in handcuffs, the police looking irritated as hell at them and my dad because they've thrown the boys out the house before and told them if they come back to the house, they'll be trespassing.

My parents, Kevin, Joey and myself started the meticulous task of sweeping up glass. It was everywhere, as they broke a double pane window. The neighbor's came as well as Joey's aunt and sister to make sure everything was alright. After most of the glass was swept up and thrown away, dad told me to sleep in the den but I decided to sleep over Kevin's since he offered. I felt safer away from the house, my room, this mess of my brother brought into this house. I got my overnight back and my pills and stood over.

I slept scarcely and had a very cool/trippy dream including a Repo! movie prologue done in the style of Edward Gorey. This morning I thanked Kevin very much for letting stay over. This is the second time he's been at my house at the right time to get me away from my brother's stupidity. (Strangely enough, it was around the time of my birthday last year, too.) Before coming home, I left to CVS to get some pictures developed to send Tonzy. If I didn't look like so much trash I would have asked the assistant manager for an application. I came home a half an hour ago, I'm tired, I smell metallic and I'm pissed. This is supposed to be our house, not my brother's house to fuck up with his shit. I blame my parents for letting him in the house, AGAIN. I blame my brother for not seeing people as real and nothing bad ever happens to him because he didn't get hurt. I blame myself for not being able to move out of here. I'm sick of the way things are but I cannot change them right now. I prayed to God last night that He shows me what I have to do to protect my family. I hope I can shut my mind off long enough to hear what He has to tell me.

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come on over next week, we're having a bbq and knife fight!