So Luminous called me at, like, 5:45 am yesterday and tells me that he broke up with his girlfriend, how they broke up and then hangs up. He calls me during a lecture with an urgent page, but I didn't respond. He caught me going home again on my cell, saying that his mom is in the hospital now and that his day isn't getting any better. I know what he wants. I know what he wants from me, specifically. You know what, Luminous...you're not getting anything from me.
Other than that, I got really sick at prayer night. LOL, there was no prayer night, it was cancelled, but we just hung out there anyway. Mom and I had a chat over some soda, I threw up twice at the resteraunt.
I came home and called Vidal but he wasn't there, all I could think was, "Please call me, Vidal, I need you right now..." I got my wish, plus more. Maggot came over around 9:30 pm and Vidal waited for me outside on the spot where we had our first kiss. We just hung out there for 3 hours talking about everything: plans for the future, fears of the present, tramatic things of the past. I told him my whole sad little background and now he wants to kill him. I only told him because I was so bloody sick and paranoid. I love how Vidal is there for me, even when he finds out more and more about my past. I want it all to be out in the open so if something does come up, he knows already.
I keep having flashbacks of when I was little and he would do aweful things to me and his wife knew about it. Shit. I know this is because of my medication situation. I want to controll my life, I don't want him controlling it anymore!!!
Shit, I'm sick. I didn't go to school today cuz I'm going to the doctor today. I'm supposed to go to the mall with Tonzy and Mela, but I don't even want to go to the doctor. Vidal is comming over later. *love* He's the sticky web that's keeping the pieces together right now.
I find out my blood type today, hopefully. *squee*
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"The feeling of high before you are when you don't want it"--from the poem Your Moral Disease (by me)