Sometimes "forever" has to take a break every once and a while. It's not that it's happening, it's how it happened. Blame me. Blame him. Doesn't matter. We both have shit to work out with ourselves.

All I know is I've never felt so empty in my life or cried for the smallest reasons ever. (not counting the severe depression that's plagued me most of my life.)

We're still going to talk and hang out. We're still friends. We even went out to eat today. That was crazy. I was up and down with my emotions the whole time, going from optimism to despair, friend to lover, calm to erratic. We talked and I felt we were making progress and stepping backwards at the same time.

I havn't given back the ring or asked mine back because I have a tremendeous amount of faith that we'll get back together. That we'll work out our problems and become stronger than ever. We did it before, we can do it again.

('cept this time, it might truly be forever. I'm so fucking scared...)

God help us all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

it's only a matter of time now