People are moving on, moving out, relocating. It's scary but I know it's for the best. I think I still care too much at times. Last year was honestly a big blurr but a very important and developing year for me. I don't know how it came to this point but I'm glad I am where I am personally and I'm glad the relationships that have come to last are still with me and the stregnth to do what I need to to be a better person. I just pray that all those guys that are moving out and on do well and stay in touch. I don't have a lot of very close people to me anymore so the relationships I keep now are important to me.

Lord knows what this year has in store for me.
For us.

I'm so tired of stuff at the house. My brother's over-run the house and I'm just tired of it. He's overdosed, joing a gang, delt drugs out of the house, I don't feel safe here. He steals, he has his stupid friends over, and really has no regaurd for ANYONE. I'm planning on moving out in a month or two. Hopefully I can find someone to move out with. It's not a 100% thing yet but I brought it up with the parents. Dad said to do it to get away from the bullshit. Mom wasn't happy AT ALL. Mom doesn't want me to leave under these circumstances but I've brought it up with her many a time but I guess that it's still a lot for her to absorb. I'm upset that mom's hurt over this, I never want to hurt my mom but I don't know what else to do now. I want to be there for my family but my brother's tearing us apart. What do I do?

*sigh* Argh.

I was late for the millionth time already at work so Natalie and I had a chat, she was completely understanding about my situation so she let me change my hours at work. I cut them a few hours so I can better commit myself and not call out as much. I'm still going to be pulling in enough to cover my bills, it's not like I'm making my full paycheck, anyhow. It's better this way. I'm still looking for another job, and I've got a lot of response from my online resumes so hopefully something pulls through. Walmart's great and all, I've learned a lot and got a lot of experience on my side now but it's time to move on.

Well, better go talk to mom more about this.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

and talked like women to women would
womyn to womyn would "where did you get that from?
must've been your father your dad"
I got it from you I got it from you