I don't think it's too much that I ask for 20 minutes alone with the guy I love. Even if it is between a sheet of glass and on the phone. *sigh*

There were so many babies today in the waiting room. So many. Babies. Three toddlers, 2-4 years old. And an infant. A tiny little infant. Really little. Little little baby.

Saul says, "In due time." It's hard to think instead of being with one another for important times and milestones like our anniversary, new jobs, graduations, birthdays, holidays, we'll be miles away from each other sharing those times that had happened or will happen in letters, phone calls and visits. There won't be any more pictures together for a while or shared moments, no holding hands or watching movies, going out or celebrating events, concerts or gigs. It's hard. It's very hard.

I'm praying that when I blink next time, he'll be out and with me. I'm praying I blink and 14 months passes by. I hope when I get up to Tehachapi the visits are as wonderful as he says they are; one hour long, and contact. I'll get to hug him. I haven't touched him or heard his true voice in 145 days. I'll break down probably when I get to touch him next.

*sigh* My emotions have gotten the best of me today. I broke down a little...I'll bounce back...I have a feeling I'll have a lot these next coming months.

Triumphs: I administered my first two injections today and both guinea pigs said they didn't feel a thing. That means I'll be good with kids, hopefully. I got two injections and two TB tests administered to me, I had a weird bubble go under my skin. I got two tests back: both A's but not 100%s. I need to work on my spelling.

Let Downs: I ate fast food today. Twice. And didn't walk. :'(

Tomorrow is a job fair, then I have to shimmy quickly down to Sharon's to visit Saul again. Saturday I'm getting my government tax money back, a good chunk of it, too. I need it. O.O It's also a party night, where if I could drink and smoke this weekend I'd kill my liver and smolder my lungs into oblivion. Sunday, Sunday will be my alone day with him. Then a family gathering on my dad's side. I'm making spaghetti. Delish.

And Matt has given me the insperado to pick up finishing the novel I've been working on for the past few years but haven't touched.

I have much to do tomorrow.

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"Show me what needle you used"
"FROM THE SHARP'S BOX?!"
"What?! NO!"