Read Part One::Cringe (now updated with LIES revealed)

I remember...

...getting lost at Sea World. They shut down the whole park to look for me. When they found me, I was stuck on the climbing nets. After that, my parents didn't let me out of their sites.

...a retreat when we were all in the bonfire pit and Steve started playing the intro to Smells Like Teens Spirit, but stopped right after wards. Everyone was like, 'Awe, Man!'

...another retreat when Steve sang the first verse of "I'll Run Away With You (The Magician)" by The Cure. That was the first time I ever heard that song and after that, everytime I heard that song, I thought of that retreat.

...that same retreat (Our Lady of Lourdes 2004) I met Jaime C. and felt something I cannot explain for him.

...the first time I went to LA with Mayra, Dwayne, Steve and Miguel and how we walked to an alley and drank Smirnoffs. I remember talking to Steve and his views on marriage and how he believed it was just a piece of paper. I remember him telling me that he can't talk to girls that well and I told him right away, "Well, I'm a girl and you're talking to me!" :p

...when Vidal broke my heart for the last time by kissing some chick that kisses everyone while we were still pretty much together.

...seeing the movie Mafia! in theatres and how hard my brother and I laughed at the part when there was a shootout and some guy shot a tree and the tree clutched it's "chest" and fell over and died.

...going to my Aunt Lisa's house with my new puppy Izzy and how she cried for two nights straight, but that kept her husband from touching me for those two nights.

...my first R rated movie; it was "Judge Dred" and I saw it in the drive in as part as a double feature.

...listening to Miriah Carey's Butterfly album constantly and singing horribly off-key to it a lot in the car

...listening to Joan Osbourne's Relish tape constantly during the summer my mother bought a year-round pass to the Museum of Natural History, including the time they had a full open-house. My cousin Cindy spent the night a lot and we ate at AM PM every day because that was when they had really cheap hot dogs and corn dogs

...the first "alternative" CD I ever bought; Korn's Follow the Leader

...the first time I ever saw the cover for Nirvana's Never Mind album; I was very young at the time and I saw it at The Warehouse that used to be next to a Food 4 Less in La Puente

...when I used to rent videos at The Warehouse in BP (It's now a Hollywood Video on Maine Street...used to be a Max Video)

...the first R Rated Video my cousins and I rented: "Hellraiser 3" Something in me changed that day. It scared the holy living crap out of me.

...that I used to be deathly afraid of La Llorona getting me at night or anytime I saw myself in the mirror in the bathroom

...when my mom was really angry and I would pray and pray and pray and look at the moon while we were comming home that my dad would be home so we wouldn't be alone

...my cousin Shianne being the first ever goth person that I'd ever seen in my life and how cool I thought that was. Little did I know how I'd turn out myself...

...the first person I ever remember dying was my Nino Richard from a heart attack I think. I was 8, I think. The second person was my Pops (my dad's dad) in the third grade, but he was really really sick. The third was my cousin Richard, I forget when, he commited suicide. I remember a few funerals from my mom's side of the family, don't remember who died, but I remember they always had a lot of food.

...when I found out my birthday is the same day as the memorial day for when they beheaded St. John the Baptist.

...when we got our pool. and my mom, jer, and myself made it a point to go in it on Jan. 1st and how incredibly cold it was!!!

...the first thing I ever lost. It was a squishy pink purse to a knock-off version of a Barbi Doll's outfit.

...cutting my hair in class in the 3rd grade. Really short bangs. Funny.

...wearing fake glasses to school every so often. and when I got the real things, it was awesome.

...the first time I ever wanted anything to do with the goth subculter/vampire envy; I was in the 4th grade.

...the first time Jen-Jen. Adrian introduced us while SVHS and BPHS were at Citrus college doing recitals. I held her hand all the way to Jack In the Box

...having a super-hard crush on Gus-Gus back in the day when he was supposedly straight. :p

...the first time I kissed Ernesto at Luis's party and how so many rumours came out from that and how Vidal and Ernesto were fighting over me for a while.

...kissing a little boy called Andrew that used to live in my grandparent's backhouse and when we got caught. (teehee!)

...cutting myself for the first time on the top on my arm opposite side of my wrist.

...when Henry showed me his scar from cutting himself with a soda can.

...when Victor showed me his scar on his vein

...when Amelinda (when I was barely getting to know her) showed me her self-inflicted scratches on her arm and her round Billy Corgan Box

...when Father Jim made me tell my parents that I was cutting myself as part of my penance in confession.

...the rainbow bracellete Rocky made me and how crushed I was when it finally broke 2 years later. I wore it every day since the day he made it for me. I still have the beads. And the crafts he made me. ANd the voodoo knife he gave me.

...crying hardcore when we were playing prisoner in elementry school because no one called my name to be captured and how alone and invisable I felt

...talking to Tonzy in the 3rd going into 4th grade about how I was supposed to be in summer school because they called my name and thinking that was nice of him to tell me but secretly he told me because he liked me and wanted to see me during summer school.

...going to the Hoover Dam in the summer time and getting heatstroke.

...going to Choride and Calico and not getting heatstroke, even though these were ghost towns in the middle of the desert.

...mistaking horseradish for whipped cream. it was disgusting.

...staring at night at my play kitchen set, thinking that I wasn't normal because normal kids don't get touched by other older people.

and realizing how normal is was with a horrible shock.

...when my mom used to make my brother and I's costumes for halloween. the best one was when we were both power rangers.

...going on teenchat.com a lot when I was taking my manditory typing class in the 9th grade

...my brother eating glass cleaner in the back seat of my dad's Caprice

...going to a "talking doctor" a lot when I was young because my mom thought I was depressed when I said I didn't want anything for Christmas.

...my first e-mail address: sweet_jane258 (still is today my e-mail)

...the first time I stole my mom's van and how incredibly slow I took the turns and how crappy a parking job I did.

...mushroom and pepperoni pizza being my favorite food. I would take off all the toppings and cheese and eat them first.

...being scared shitless of bees because a bumble bee scared me when I was little

...not liking black cherry soda because one time I bit into a plant and it tasted horrible so I tried to wash down the taste with black cherry soda and it still tasted like the pant. Ew.

...going to Children's Court the first day and running up 5 flights of stairs with my brother and how utterly winded I was when I got to my floor and how the security gaurd kept telling me, "It's ok, you'll be fine" and him giving me two stuffed bears.

I turned one into a dog and named him Boofy the Wonder Dog.

I gave the other one to Albard when he was depressed.

These are things I remember. There's still a lot more, but still, like the first one, I don't want to waste anymore of your time.