I visited Saul for what may be the last time in a long time. Tomorrow is his court day: he'll either sign a deal and get transferred to the prison in Tehachapi or Chino, or he won't sign a deal and continue with the trial. Something tells me he might sign. Least amount of time is 7 months, most is 10. Either October or January. He looked great; he spiked his hair up and shaved his beard leaving his goatee. He looked so handsome, he said I looked beautiful. I dressed up for him extra nice, he was glad I did. The last thing he asked me was if I was still scared that he would leave me after he got out. I told him I'm worried of when he gets out cos things will be different but as long as we're together and we'll take whatever happens together and that I loved him very much. And he loves me to. <3

I was thinking of visiting Tako but I was very tired, almost falling asleep on the freeway. I came home and slept longer than I wanted to. Went to Rite Aid, returned some conditioner, went to Walmart (freakin' zoo, swear, it was madness) bought the same conditioner but it was a HUGE bottle for only a dollar more. And a Big Stick Popsicle for my mom. Got out, came home, ate dinner and planned to stay home for the rest of the night when Le Tigre asked me to hang out. I wasn't going to at first but figured I'd stay for a while and leave early. He was a lot more respectful this time around, though it's kind of unnerving when he wouldn't let me leave right away but I stood a while more, listened to Cage the Elephant, left for home.

I got a call from my friend who's father passed away. I couldn't talk then but I'm sure he'll call me today, I know he needs someone to talk to. It's weird that the guys that say they don't need help come to me to vent, or the guys who left me because they felt I wasn't helping come to me cos they know I'll listen. I guess I don't have to do anything and when I did it wasn't the help they needed. Strange. Huh. Boys are weird.

Going to the market in a bit. Then school. Gotta drop off some donations to the church before hand. And get the mail. And pray for Saul. I don't know what's going to happen, it's going to be alright I'm sure whatever happens, it's just hard that he's going through all this when he doesn't have to be, when he didn't do anything. Ugh...

I said a rosary last night, I should do them more often. Saul asked me to make him a buddy poke on myspace. It's super cute. :p I redyed my hair again, get it nice and green for Saint Patrick's Day. Gonna put a streak of green in my momma's hair. Abney Park concert this Thursday, Mr. K is gonna go! Mom's birthday is this Friday. :) Party this Saturday. Wow, it's going to be busy. Thank goodness I have my car again, make up for what I missed out last weekend.

Tomorrow's a big day. Waiting on pins and needles for that phone call for him to tell me what's going to happen to him. Oi. I love my babe. I'll wait.

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make it sad, make it sweet
make it to my own defeat