I went to the Our Lady of Lourdes retreat again for day 2, and it was so relieving. Except for while we were going there, I went in Rosa's car (the same car we got in an accident in on Thanksgiving) and she was racing Sal on the freeway and I started to get really bad anxiety. I didn't calm down until about two hours later! In samll groups, I think we connected today I think. All of our small groups got into a circle and then prayed over eachother. One of the girls in my group had a lot to let go of. Also, we did a really powerful drama before that, so that might have been a part of it.

I sat next to Jaime C. mostly today and it was cool because for some reason I feel an affinity with him but I think it's because he reminds me so much of our Jaime, but at the same time, it's wierd.

When we got home, I got dressed for church and went there. It seemed so much different from the last two days that I spent away. I was so happy over there and then I went to my church that I love and felt down. Plus Mela wasn't there and she was supposed to help the whole weekened and then she didn't even go to church. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer any of her phones. :( But I got to see Michelle and she's always a blessing to be around. I know Mela would have loved to have met her. When I was at mass, it was like I was in a rut, I was so comfortable there. I felt so wierd.

After mass was the Life Night and Jaime C. showed up! It was so cool how many people were instantly drawn to him! He had this incredible life force around him. He hugged me twice. :)

The Life Night was taking a walk with Jesus and me and Leslie headed up a small group to talk about it. Then we wrote letters to Jesus, which we'll get back in about six months.

After the Life Night was over, I hung around Pedro, Jaime C. and Daniel. We talked about what we do and what is in our lives and all that sort of stuff. Then they left to go play Monopoly. I don't know why, but I feel so depressed now. I felt so good when he was around me because he has this incredible life force that you can't help but love and he is always smiling and being goofy. I just feel so upset. I was to the point of tears when my mom picked me up. I don't know why. I guess in confession tomorrow I'll talk to Father about it and maybe we can both make some sense of this.

In the meantime, I wrote a poem about it and I'll probably post it on my website on the Burned Poetry portion of it. (www.geocities.com/sweet_jane258/burnedpoetry/ )

I'll get over it...

http://www.geocities.com/sweet_jane258