I cut my nails so thin and ragged
used to be so strong but now as frail as my hold
I think I'm ready to throw away my friends
who left me behind and didn't look back
and not look back
I don't know where my soul mate is
but I know where he lives
and it's like he's right next to me
I let him touch me because he won't kiss me
I can close my eyes and it's not there
You're not here but you want me to be there
biting on tea bags and burning my mouth on honey
stomach swollen and eyes sunken in
you leave me hollow, you left me empty
not supposed to take from me
but if I watch you leave me dry
it'll be alright
my dye-stained hands and bleach-dyed hair
my crooked hands and twisted head
my outrage, my passion
my unanswered phone calls
missed and placed, returned and dismissed
when you're here, will I know how to act?
when you're here, will you be real again?
I place your body in my head
but I cannot place your movements
disappear but I want you near
reappear and I'll want you gone
injustice to justice
swift sword to sweep the feet of foes
I'll keep you away
I'll make you stay
in this house of paper I made
my heart aches and I'll heal it away
burn in the fire and forge it new
with your name, my new heart for two