I haven't been able to sleep since Sunday night. It's a combination of me being sick and my depression getting worse. And when I do it's for 2 hours at the most and I have horrible, repetitive dreams that make no sense. It's worse than a nightmare. That's how I know I'm sick; my head always makes me have those dreams. IDK why.

I've had two dreams that were pretty weird:

The first one was were I was in a house that was like my old ex Henry's, but it had a live in Garage right behind the back door. I was in the house and it was dark, then I was outside. The outside looked like this guy's house I'd been to once, when I visited him I had to back out of the driveway from the back house. I did that in the dream and I totally hit the side of the house with a truck I was driving. The stucco was peach but smooth, the dent was pretty obvious but I told myself, "Oh, it's dark, no one will notice, hopefully..." But I tried desperately to keep it away from everyone. My bro was there and was talking to me while sitting on a lounge chair and he told me to ask Edgar something. Edgar is our old next door neighbor who's in the military now with his military wife. But he was in the live in garage asleep on a twin bed and I opened the door and said, "Edgar?...you awake?" and he groaned loudly, and I closed the door and told Jer that he was awake.

The second dream I was in a really fancy neighborhood but everyone's house was being evacuated. I was with a family who wasn't mine with two trouble making kids and their dad. They were African American, so was the entire neighborhood. A lady was putting her child in a car seat when the two kids set fire to the debris in her pool and took her baby away. She screamed and was horrified. After she got her child back, the father wasn't mad, he seemed like, annoyed, saying, "Why would you do that? Who's idea was that?" We were behind a chain link fence and watched people in an elementary school playground while we were in a flood outlet.

My dreams are strange. --.--

I'm going to go get my car fixed today, get some much needed medication and try not to nap in the afternoon even if I'm totally falling over cos I really want to sleep tonight.

Mom keeps telling me to take a sleeping pill but I don't want to sleep late or wake up stupid. Trust me, I'm not too proud to take medication when needed but I used to take sleeping pills when I was in high school and I would wake up medicated still. I don't know what would happen now but perhaps I should give it a shot tonight. Uhh...I just want sleep...

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I can't sleep...I'm too tired to sleep....