Last night around 11 pm, my friend Ashwar (everyone called him Ash for short) died on a freeway going towards Hollywood. His car took the turn too fast and he immidiately flipped over the side of the freeway and fell about 40 feet or so. The confusing thing for me is that I actually talked to him before he left. He told me he wanted me to go with him to Holllywood to hang out for Halloween weekend. I told him I couldn't because I was already going to (Phil's) Halloween party. (which turned out to be really stupid and lame because all it was was Vidal trying to get me jealous by having some chick on his lap all night. Kinda defeats the purpose when I'm the one that broke up with him, doesn't it?) Anyway, I'm totally freaked out because I was the one that was supposed to go with him and I didn't. I was supposed to be in the car and I wasn't. He was a good friend. We didn't know eachother very well, but he was there for me when I needed him and I was there for him, too. He called me almost every night he wasn't working and he even went with me to Torrid and sat in the designated "boyfriend chair" while I tried on dresses. He would take me out and we'd talk and talk and we'd joke around with eachother and laugh at eachother's faults and flaws as if we knew eachother well enough to do it. We just clicked. I just talked to him last night. His number is still on my cell phone from when he called me. Why did this happen and why wasn't I there for him? I feel so weird that I almost went with him. If Phil didn't have his party, I would have probably gone with Ash. And...wow, God, how could this have happend? I miss him so much already. He was the coolest. He was a really tall guy with dark, wavey hair down to his waiste. His earlobes were stretched out and he used to freak me out by putting his pointer finger through his ear! He wore band shirts all the time and those long shorts with converse. He was so cool. He'd talk about everything and he was so funny. I met his parents and had been to his house. His mom's name is K'shwar and his dad's is Al Sharif. They were from India. He still had sisters there. His mom loves me a lot. She cooked for me once. When she called me last night, she was hysterical and crying all over the place. I went to church today but I couldn't stay there. I went to Ash's parents house. I accidently forgot their gate number (they live in a gated community) and I am so out of reality right now that I called Ash's cell phone number and as soon as I heard his voicemail recording I realized why I was there. His dad was completely drunk. I held his mom for a long time. She wants me to go back so that I can call some of his friends so we could make a collage for his funeral. I still cannot believe that this guy that I made friends with and hung out with and barely talked to about 24 hours ago is gone. He's gone. My only comfort is that he knew how I felt about him every time I saw him and I knew how he felt about me everytime he saw me. We were open with eachother and honest and I loved him very much. We didn't have to be together to show eachother we loved eachother. We just told eachother every time we saw eachother. He was the coolest friend/pseudo-boyfriend/confidant that I had known and clicked with so well. I will miss him so very much. My only regreat is that I never took a picture of him.

Movie Night People: Either the funeral or the wake is on Friday, so understandibly so, I'll have to cancel the movie night. Rescheduling will be in the works. I'm sorry.