Mike and I arn't together anymore. Yes, this is something ENTIRELY my fault. God sent me someone wonderful and I fucked it up. It was my fault for being a liar and a cheat in the first place. The great thing, though, is that he's going to continue to be in my life as my friend and he will help me change into the person I'm supposed to be, not some slutty goth whore. I'm heartily sorry for hurting him and this is a lesson that I will take with me to the grave. I have smeared a thumbprint on his and my heart forever and Lord knows if it will ever come off. All I can do now is keep changing for the absolute better, become the woman that Mike and Tonzy both know that I really am inside, stop being so naive and trusting and flirty, keep my gaurd up, be honest about everything, and get all the excess baggage out of my life. I also need to re-evaluate all my so-called "friends" of mine. So if you get a letter from me, you know why.

Above all...

(not directed to anyone in particular, just had to come out)

Yeah...tomorrow's another day, but for today, I'm crying and mourning.

and a very SPECIAL thanks to my bestest friend in the whole fucking world, Le Tonzy, for being himself and a rightous man on God. I love you~! I FOREVER LOVE YOU! I know I'll get through this because you're somone that'll hold me accountable.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
can you see me?
I'm dying
I'm crying my eyes out
Can you see me, I'm lying
I'm dying to cry out