So Mike just left right now and we talked for about two hours. He brought me a rose. How sweet, <3

He explained some things to me that broke my heart and made me understand the way he is and I know in my heart that he just can't do it anymore. That he's scared to be in a relationshionship with me again and all that. But he told me he missed me. And I miss him. And that makes me know that somewhere down the line I did more than hurt him all the time.

So I know now if he's mean to me, I just have to accept that that's who he is right now but he's still the same guy. And I have to get over it. And I'll just have to live for the nights where he wants to come over and talk to me and tell me things that are in his heart. No matter how much it may hurt me. Because I want to know these things. And I want to tell him what's in my heart. No matter how much he doesn't want to listen to me.

I pray one day that he stops hurting and maybe wants to try again with the person I am today. But I'm praying harder that God takes away the pain and sadness I feel right now so I can move on.

I got work in 4 hours. But it was worth it to see Mike and talk to him almost like we used to. And for him to want to lay down next to me and hug me. I can still smell his cologne on my shirt.

I gotta move on, but I can't right now. But I will.
Mark my words, I will.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oh, don't you wanna try?
Can't you see there's beauty in life?
The tides, the highs, breaking down your mind
Can't you see there's beauty in life?
Oh, you're too afraid to touch
Too afraid you'll like it too much