OK, so I know that I�ve been away for a veeeery long time. There�s a good reason for that: my AOL got cancelled cuz it was costing upwards of $107 a month (I am not kidding!) And my dad thinks it�s reasonable for him to go buy $10 worth of Hot Wheels, but it�s not a good idea to spend 10 bucks on Internet once a month!!! >: ( But now I�ve got internet for only $7 a month, yay!, and I can update my diaries on a regular basis!

A lot (and I mean a lot!) has been happening around here. Here�s a rundown of the stuff that�s been happening:

-07/08: Maggot tried to get back with me and kind of freaked me out when he insisted (in a psycho, stalkery way) that we were ment to be together. : (He�s not welcome at the house for now.

-07/11: Jordan and Little Brother went to a party and didn�t come back until about 12:30 at night and my dad wouldn�t let them in. Jordan went to the river bed because he was going to kill himself with a gun he hid there and Little Bro intervened by getting some of his friends to subdue Jordan (but not before Jordan punched Little Brother in the face!) and then called the police. Jordan was sent to the mental hospital. (Charter Oak, lucky ducky�)

-07/12: Devastating (and I�m serious) news: I found out that my friend (the same gal who got me back into church in the first place, the girl who got me into Life Teen) is now 5 months pregnant. This is upsetting for me because she introduced me back into the church and she was always sort of a role model to me. I still love her, but I was very conflicted and upset about it. I�m over it now.

-07/12-14: We all visit Jordan in the mental hospital and he made a new friend there called John (he�s really tall and really cute! He looks like Julian Casablancas!lead singer from The Strokes) and he lives in La Puente. Jordan�s mom accused my mother of telling the hospital staff that she was his mother. Then she says that the state is trying to take away her kids because of what happened and that the only reason that Jordan was in the mental hospital was because of me and Little Brother teaching him how to cut his veins. However, Jordan�s mom did agree to sign over legal papers to make us responsible for Jordan. We�re still waiting to see if that will ever happen.

-06/13: After Little Brother had his physical to go camping, he found out that he has a hernia and it has to be operated on. Scary, yes? The funny thing is he�s more scared of the IV needle than the actual surgery!

-06/15: Went to the bowling league night at the Covina Lanes and saw my friend who is pregnant. She looks the same except for her baby bump on her tummy! I saw some of the band kids there and lots of church kids, of course. I got to see a lot of Videl and after the bowling we hung out at Phil�s house (on the top floor cuz no one is living there anymore). We ate pizza and joked around. I got to spend a lot of time with Videl. I have never seen him smile so much! He says he�s going to start going to church more! I�m very happy about this!

Oh, and I�m thinking about teaching myself to be a contortionist. I�m also going to start corseting as soon as I get a steady income. (Corseting is molding your abdominal muscles to conform to the hourglass shape of a corset. I�m going to attempt this in the winter or else I�ll faint more that usual. : P)

-07/18: Life Teen goes to Golf Land! Little Brother and Jordan went along with the tall guy from the mental hospital called John. All and all it was a good trip, they all behaved and I got to see Videl play Dance Dance Revolution. :) �Twas a very good day. :D (Except for Jordan tried to steal Father John�s cat. *sigh* Well, you had to expect something to go wrong, didn�t you???)

John spent the night and the boys went out and met a guy called Kimo and gave Gir to him! I�m so upset about it! I love my Gir! The boys say they�ll get him back�*sigh*

-07/19: Mom got a new job! Yay! She�s still going to be a receptionist, but it�s at another Kaiser location and it�s half the hours. :( Mom still gets paid $16.50 an hour but she�ll only be working 20 hours a week. We�re all happy for her, though. :D

Also, it took me over a year but I finally willed myself to write down the final draft of the second song I composed. (Heartbreaker Waltz) It will take a long time to get all of it down, especially since my music composition program gets on my nerves, but I�m determined. Also, I�m working on extending a composition I started last year called Soma and I�m writing down a brand new composition yet to be named, but it was inspired by Videl so maybe I can work that in somehow.

-07/20: It took me three hours but I *finally* thoroughly cleaned my bathroom so there is no clutter and no more mess! Yay! I feel accomplished. If I had it my way, though, I would have my own theme to it. My mom has a Mickey Mouse theme in it right now. *cringe* I hope to fully clean my room soon.

Oh, and since the social workers come on Tuesdays now, I have to leave The Edge program until I�m better adjusted to my school schedule and to take a break from immersing myself too much in the church. This is because I was under a lot of stress (even though I'd never admit this to my mother!) I talked to Pita about this and she said that if I need to talk to her, come find her. :)

-07/22-23: I got to go to the bowling again and I hung out with Jackie, my brothers, and Videl. *sigh* We saw lesbians there, too. *gasp!* Videl likes Jackie! How cute! Both me and Jackie asked Videl why he never persued Mela and he said it was because she was more like a sister to him. Then the usual gang of us hung out at Phil�s house. The day after, they all came back and had a semi-pool party. I hung out with Videl the entire day. I really like him and I�m learning a lot about him. The guys keep saying that I have a chance with him, but with him being so shy and me being so afraid of rejection, I don�t think that will happen, even if I want him so bad that I can taste it.

-07/24: The microwave has been immiting sparks everytime we use it, so we�re getting a new one. But with mom�s new job, and the late charges from not paying the bills on time taking their toll, there is only $100 to spend for the next two weeks, and that�s going to groceries. Hopefully, we�ll get better after mom gets settled into her new job.

-07/26: Yesterday Life Teen went to Nickle Nickle and we all had fun! But me and my mom got in a big fight after she got home. It�s all better now. John spent the night at our house again and got drunk and hit on me. The boys went in the pool today. I got to see John�s boobs. :p Woo. Jordan told me today that I have a really good chance of getting with Videl. I�m thinking of asking him out on a date on Wednesday or Thursday. I have to think about this more, though. *sigh* Darn crushes�*cue sad but happy music*

Oh, and I saw Jaime Garcia at the market today. I waved a little wave and smiled. :D

-08/05: I�ve been spending a lot of time with Videl and I don�t know if I want to get together with him, but I do really like him. Whatever happens, God�s will, not mine. I�ve been really sick. :( Dad and Little Brother are on vacation! Yay! So me, mom and Jordan are enjoying our vacation! :D My cats are sick and I�ve been extreamly depressed for about a month now. I�m going for a check-up soon.

-08/08-08-14: Little Brother and Dad are gone. Party! Yay! Me, Jordan and Mom party. We had sleep-overs and pool parties galore! I was so happy this week! And Videl and I kind of hooked up. I was talking to him and he was so sad and I listened to him. I really like him, and I love him so much. Then we made out but I stopped it before something that we would regreat happened. *sigh* I don�t know if we�re going to get together, but if we do, then I�ll be happy, and if we don�t, then I�ll still be happy knowing once and for all that he does like me. :)

I'm beggining to find out that I am an alcoholic. The first step to recovery is admitting it. (But it's not the last step...*sigh*)

Sad news: Mela and Tonzy broke up. Stuff piled up and now they�re not together. It�s for the best, I assure you. Mela is at Camp Ronal McDonald For Good Times helping out termanally ill children. Sweet!

And I have my driving test this Thursday!!!! Muauhahahah! In your face, Geraldo!!! (Just kidding, huh, I loves you!!!)

So that's what's been going on! Comment at will! I love you all!!!