This weekend was pretty lazy for me. I didn't do anything except look for job stuff and sleep off illness. I cracked a little in my head Saturday night/Sunday evening, I can't remember pieces of the night. When I get really emotional or stressed out, I break down and when I can't remember the night I broke down that's when I know it was really bad because my mind blocks things out. I haven't had an episode like that in quite some time and I'm really scared about it but what can I do? I tried to see the doctor today but my appointment somehow was non-existent so I'll try later.

It's been cold and my back, legs, and chest have been cracking and creaking every time I stretch. It's a weird phenomenon having my chest crack, my arthritis has been acting up in the cold, though.

I'm happy to report that, thanks to my mom taking care of herself and the medicine I got her, my mom is a LOT better! :)

Sunday in the afternoon, I just got really happy all of a sudden and I was sup er happy!I tried on my new gray slacks my mom got me to look professional. Except for the cuffs being a bit too long, these are my new favourite pants, swear, I can do gymnastics in them, they're so comfortable!!!! My Nana (dad's mom) was at the house, she can't see well anymore so I was surprised when she asked me if I'd lost weight :) She said I looked nice. Mom said that dad agreed with her when she asked if he was proud of how I've been taking care of myself.

Mom and I went to church and I talked to Spam a bit. She was telling me about the dress her mom won in a raffle and gave to Spam. I told her about Saul. I said, "My boyfriend's in jail...well, he's not officially my boyfriend..." and she said, "Too late! You said it!" LOL I really miss the girl, we need to hang out soon, I've been so immersed in jobs and helping out Saul, I need time with my peeps. I saw Tonzy too :) Mass was great, I prayed a lot, and I got a prayer candle to put later. I want to go to confession so I can do a proper rosary and accept the host, I need Jesus in me, it's been so long since I've had the host, I want to be able to accept it again.

After church, mom and I went to Macy's to put in my in-store application. I saw some horrible purses in the shape of dogs. >.< While I was there, Saul called me <3 I hadn't heard from him all day and I was worried. I love him so much. He asked me what I was exactly, I didn't want to say girlfriend because I don't want him to worry about that right now but I told him I was waiting for him and I wasn't going to go anywhere. I don't think he was happy with that answer but I want him to be out so we can really talk about everything because I don't want to through that in the mix while all this other stuff is happening. I want him to take his time and he knows I'm by his side.

I was still quite happy and I REALLY wanted soup! It was chilly last night! Mom and I decided to try our luck at Norm's (cos usually there's a big line and long wait to eat there) and we got seated right away! I was awesome and the gal who was our waitress was so nice :) She was like "Hey, we have the same hair colour!" LOL I had my soup and club samich, I was uber happy!

I hung out with Kevin, watching more anime and being goofy. It was good to get out of the house and talk to someone for a while. He's talking about other professions he wants to get into, I wish him all the best and hope he does things for himself.

I can't wait for tomorrow; I have my interview with Macy's (woo) and I'm going to make my appointment to see Saul <3 His parents can't come on Wednesday, so I'm going to be with him one on one. :) Thursday his whole family is going to see him so I'm going to sit this one out since I'm going to have my time on Wednesday. I also might be an extra for a movie on Sunday. I hope a party is coming up for something, I want to warm up with some drinks maybe? :p buahhah

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I love you...why do you make me hurt you?!