It's amazing how much changed in 4 weeks
and changed again in 4 hours
From bliss to sadness
And now I feel
all alone
but I know I'm not
I have him still
he says we shouldn't see eachother that much anymore
part of me wants to run to him
and another part of me knows better
We talked a little bit after work
recapping things
I feel so confused
I feel like I don't know exactly what's going on
and I hate this feeling so much
especially because
just a day ago
we were talking about Saturday
how we'll see eachother
how happy we'll be to be near eachother
and now he doesn't want to see me right now
hurts so much
but understandibly
I know where he's comming from
so maybe this is what needs to happen for right now
he said he doesn't like waiting
because when he's waited before
for someone
they were stolen
but stolen things are only that way
because they're left out to be
and want to be taken
I don't want to be taken by anyone
but him
but I don't want to be taken
right now
I'm not ready
but i know we'll find eachother again
because I do love him
and he loves me
it's just the waiting that kills him
and his displeasure kills me
and I'm dying inside
wanting to live
dying to love
he's waiting for me
hopefully I'll be worth his wait
and I'll make him happy
just like he's made me
happy
for the first time
in a very long time

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

there's battlescars on my face and my arms
but you still kiss me anyway