In Utero: My mother had toximia and had to get me out of her a month early. It was a c-section and they had to put me in an incubator for a week, I think. They didn't have a name for me yet. Infant: my parents would feed me the same baby food everyday until I turned orange. :p Not on purpose, they just didn't know better. 1 : My mom made almost all my clothes. My grandma spent a lot of time with me. :) 2 : My earliest memory is of my 2nd b-day party. My aunt put a bow on my head and I said the word "dada" a lot 3 : my little bro Jer was born. they told me he was a doll so I put him in my baby cradel. 4 : They wouldn't let me in preschool so my mom put me in tap/ballet classes at Mt. Sac. I liked that, it was fun, except when it came to safety pinning parts of my costume on. 5 : Kindergarten. My mom videotapped my first day. My first crush was a boy named Paul and my first friend was a girl called Karyn. I was being babysat by a lady called Senora Miranda and her daughter, Aricelly 6 : First grade, I changed schools from BP to Pico Rivera. I practically lived at my aunt's house. Her husband molested me almost every chance he got. 7 : Second grade, I had two teachers. My aunt's husband raped me. I was cat woman for halloween and my brother was batman. I left second grade early to go to vacation in San Diego with him, the wife, and my brother. I got my first A. I made my first communion. 8 : Third grade, back to BP. I met Le Tonzy for the first time, I didn't know it at the time but he had a crush on me. :p I had a pet silkworm in class. I was in drill team. Mom volunteered to get laid off so she can go back to school and spend time with me and my brother. 9 : Fourth grade, I met my best friend Crystal. We used to jump rope a lot, even after I had to move classes. I had the best teacher, Ms. Martinez. I started biting myself to relieve stress, the first signs of self-mutilation. My aunt had a baby girl. My mom got a job at Kaiser. 10 : Fifth grade, I had the teacher from hell. She retired mid-semester. I would have anxiety attacks every morning though I didn't know what they were at the time. I was still being molested. I wanted to be a nun. 11 : Sixth grade, I started playing the clarinet. I ran for secretary and lost. My brother and I were in the afterschool program where we'd do activities and stuff. I started to develop more into a woman and my aunt's husband started to loose interest in me. 12 : Seventh grade, the begining of hell. My friends turned on me and was teased to no end. My friends were Connie, Cindy and Sharon. But I did well in school. I started my first period. I thought I was fat, little did I know. I had a crush on a guy called Hector. More like an obsession. I was in band still. 13 : Eighth Grade, I cut myself for the first time. There were rumors going around that me and Connie were lesbians and that I was pregnant. I strated marching band and quit drill team. 14 : Freshman year, I started band camp. My new friends were Tony, Lynden, Maria, Mirna, Daniel and Angie. I hung out with them all the time. I had my first boyfriend, Mario. My best friend Cindy made fun of him a lot. I broke up with Mario and got with my first love, Henry. I started going to Life Teen church masses and retreats. I still cut myself a lot. 15 : Sophmore year, more band camp but this year in the pit, I loved it. First year comfirmation was fun. Henry and I were 'engaged'. I lost my virginity. He, his mother, and I told my mom about me being molested. We went to the police and started a long proceedure to get his daughter out of the house. I went to court a lot. I skipped school. I went to the mental hospital for the first time. I fainted a lot, and I mean a lot. All the time. I dressed like a complete slut. I broke up with Henry and got with Rocky. He ment a lot to me. 16: Junior year, band camp yet again, pit got better and more fun. I was still dating and sleeping with Henry off and on again. I started hanging out with the 'goth' group and had my first girl-on-girl kiss. Phil was my boyfriend for a while. Le Tonzy and I started talking a lot more even though we went to different schools. Robert was one of my best friends. I met JuJu and Amelinda. I was still fainting and going to the metal hospital. I was also still going to church a lot. 17 : Senior year, I had easy classes, all music except for 2. Henry broke my heart by dating me and my ex-best friend Cindy at the same time. He chose her and still called me for some pussy on the side. Me being stupid, I did it all the time. He took me on my first real date. I was completely fucked up. I was in art club a lot and had fun doing my senior project with Mr. Leonard. I composed my first original piano solo and performed it in front of a crowd. It was amazing. I tried out for prom queen, but was a prom princess. I graduated and went to D-Week with other church folks, it was the most amazing 4 days of my life, I really felt God. During the summer, I got with Albard aka Sauce and spent a great month with him before we broke up. He's still one of my best friends. 18 : Got my first job at Sears. I hated it. I went to the library a lot and spent a lot of time on the internet. I didn't really do much with my life except be depressed and lonely. And I ran away from home to be with a guy I met on the internet. I came home the next day. We had a good long talk about my depression and where my life should be going. Adrian was in a horrible car crash and was in a coma for 3 months. I would listen to his CDs and cry so hard and pray that he would be alright. Some of us would go to the hospital to visit him and pray in the meditation room they hav at the hospital. He came out alright, he's alive and living well. 19 : I kind of stopped going to church because they kicked me off the college team. I felt so rejected and so aweful. I treated myself like shit. I hung out with my bro's bowling team a lot. I had a massive, mad crush on Vidal. He came to my house and asked me to be with him one night and I said yes. I started pharmacy tech classes. Our relationship was really strange and I couldn't take it anymore, I tried breaking up with him many times. I started working at Tower Records. I loved that job. I lost it, though. :( I cut my waist-legnth hair really short. WHY??? Pam and Tonzy got together. 20 : My dad lost his job but got another one. I met Mike and had a wonderful yet torn relationship with him. I changed my life completly and shed off all the old and bad habits and things I was doing. I went back to church and got Mike closer to God. I'm still best friends with Le Tonzy. I started working at walmart and going to school at Palladium academy. Still struggling with depression and self-mutilation. 21 : I was engaged to Mike but we broke up. He's now engaged to someone else that needs him a lot more than I ever do now. He made me a lot stronger and now he needs to help her. I'm still going to school and working at Walmart. I'm going out a lot more than I have been and doing a lot of self-discovery. Self discovery is very important to me right now. As is God, as He always has been. I love God. My mom and I talk more as do my dad and I do. Looking for a new job.